all right, I'm always been told to use more spin anyway. Actually its not that i don't use spin at all or can't use it, but i realize I don't mix enough or choose the kind of ball which causes most problem to my opponent.
Regarding my mindset, i think its also due to the weakness of my mental game. I've played for too long and lost way too many matches, and its affecting my self confidence, despite being coached for a while now.
I hope I work hard on it and everything else you told me, and come post something much better in the coming weeks or months.
No, no. Don't mix or vary - just SPIN everything! If the ball is high, spin drive or heavy topspin with precise placement. If the ball is low, heavy topspin. Forget flat strokes. Spin everything. Spin the ball slowly - let your opponent stare at the ball.
Most people like you (and I was like you, trust me) think that spin is slow, that the opponent has all the time, but it is more complicated than that.
1) Spin helps with consistency and timing, and the ball trajectory and power creates problems for the opponent as they are looking at a slow ball with lots of power and they can't tell how much power just by looking at it - it could be more or less than they predict.
2) Because spin lets you play at your own pace, you will be able to play consistent strokes and watch the opponent react to them. This gives you time to rally and adjust for the next ball.
3) Because spin makes you more consistent, you can place the ball in extremely uncomfortable locations as your control gets better. You can spin to the elbow, or spin with sidespin to go wide. If you are late to the ball, you can just spin the ball and step back and many opponents will block that ball off the table anyways.
4) Because you have good movement, you will be able to get to the ball early and relaxed and sometimes instead of spinning it, you will spin drive it or kill it. But right now, you are playing under pressure all the time, so you are rushing to everything. When you play with spin, you will pick and choose your moments and you will be much more relaxed unless the opponent is much faster and stronger than you are.
5) When you spin, your timing improves so much that you can start killing balls that you thought were not killable.
Trust me, if you spin EVERYTHING for 6 months, you will be a very strong player very very fast. Then you can then start thinking about variation but you may be playing so well you don't want to vary anything. You move too well and have too much power to be struggling like this.