Your spouse disliking you playing table tennis

Well, I personally don't have the problem.
But I've always been engaged with sport long before I got married, so the question has never been on the table. Plus that I've encouraged my children to sport too - football, martial arts and TT for the boy and dances for the girl. By the girl I even managed to push my wife to take some tango lessons in the dancing club and it was fun and repaid a lot, you know.
Recently I play sometimes with a guy in the club, who is fond in TT, but has the "excuse" problem. He has two daughters of 6 and 9 and I encouraged him to make them play TT. Now he has all of the excuses in the world.

My wife is a very understanding woman. She always encourages me to play no matter how late, long, or often. She even accompanies me to go watch TT tournaments while she has zero knowledge on TT. I sometimes feel bad because I do not return her favor like go to shopping with her ...

I have a serious problem with this thread. The OP's personal problems (and anyone else's for that matter) should not be a subject for public debate. Too often these sorts of threads become an opportunity for demeaning women. (Or gently patronising them with sweetly sexist comments.) If the OP has a problem at home, then he should be sorting it out at home - not crying about it here.

One of my teammates has the same problem. So he goes directly from work to the club without telling his wife, who thinks he's doing overtime at work, then washes a little bit his wear and only bring it home discreetly and put it to wash on weekends only as he is allowed to play on weekends not weekdays. Big LOL

bircham boi said:

I have a serious problem with this thread. The OP's personal problems (and anyone else's for that matter) should not be a subject for public debate. Too often these sorts of threads become an opportunity for demeaning women. (Or gently patronising them with sweetly sexist comments.) If the OP has a problem at home, then he should be sorting it out at home - not crying about it here.

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I am going to restrain myself and take a pass on this invitation.

bircham boi said:

I have a serious problem with this thread. The OP's personal problems (and anyone else's for that matter) should not be a subject for public debate. Too often these sorts of threads become an opportunity for demeaning women. (Or gently patronising them with sweetly sexist comments.) If the OP has a problem at home, then he should be sorting it out at home - not crying about it here.

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I think the thread is valid however is a good reminder to comment in a non offensive matter.

My take on the issue is that everyone has a right to spend some time pursuing their own interests however how much time has to be worked out in the individual relationship.

What we don't know is if the poster has other hobbies, do they spend all weekend at the pub, do they contribute around the house, do they discourage their partner from their own activities?

Once again, everyone has a right to have their own time but rather then ask us the question, ask your wife.

Ask your wife if she does not like a sporty husband but prefers a fat couchpotato instead?
Or explain to her that this is really important for you and that you feel uncomfortable with a too long break from playing table tennis. I don't think she wants her husband feeling bad all the time.

I am married and have two little kids as well. But as my wife got to know me with table tennis as an important hobby of mine this was never really a problem. She got used to it right from the beginning. On the other hand she has her hobbies as well and of course I "allow" her to spend time for that.

My older daughter is four years now. I often take her with me if we have a match at home at the weekend. She loves playing with the things she finds in our sports hall plus a team mate and I arrange us so that we both bring one of our kids with us, they can play together then. So I am not only pursuing my hobby but also take my kid with me and reduce work for my wife.

SFF_lib said:

I am not sure if it is just me. I plays table tennis only once a week because I have two young kids. I train at 6am about 3-5 times a week.

My wife has problem with me going to the local table tennis club weekly. Sometimes she would make up something so I can't go. If I only go once every 2-3 weeks she's fine.

I am usually agitated if I miss the club night. I think I have the table tennis bug [emoji28][emoji28]. Quite tricky to strike a balance between family and table tennis.

Has anyone else had similar problem?

Passionate about TT

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How old are your kids?

I've go the same problem. I don't have kids yet, but my wife always tries to persuade me to not go to my weekly TT session. She knows it's an important hobby for me, but she still doesn't want me to go. I only go out for TT once per week after work. I train 3-4 times at home though (30-40 min. sessions).

Send out the Goon Squad. Same problem here...

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thank god I don't have wife and kids (yet) One time a week already sounds minimum to me, and your wife still has problem with that? Tell her it's your hobby and it's good for health. Playing sport is the best hobby compared to beers, wine, tv, etc. You could also try to do more housework everytime you come back from table tennis.

I think almost everyone here has that problem, the only thing that changes is the number of practices outside the house per week.

Baal has a formula for how many blades to own, (n = the # of blades that will cause your partner to leave you - 1). That probably solves for this as well, just replace blades with practice sessions.

SFF_lib said:

I am not sure if it is just me. I plays table tennis only once a week because I have two young kids. I train at 6am about 3-5 times a week.

My wife has problem with me going to the local table tennis club weekly. Sometimes she would make up something so I can't go. If I only go once every 2-3 weeks she's fine.

I am usually agitated if I miss the club night. I think I have the table tennis bug [emoji28][emoji28]. Quite tricky to strike a balance between family and table tennis.

Has anyone else had similar problem?

Passionate about TT

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Has anyone not had that same problem?

I actually have a new wife who is fine with it. Last one, not so much. When you have kids things do get pretty complicated though, so you might want to consider that most or all of us who post here are not professional players and it is good to keep things in perspective.

Perhaps you could convince her that it is important for your health.

I've been married for nearly 40 years. I don't womanise (and never have), I do my share at home, and I've always encouraged my wife to have intereests of her own too. Consequently I never have a problem with going to do what I want to do when I want to do it.

My wife doesn't like when I take off on weekends to play sports. It makes sense because weekends are the best time to spend with the family and do stuff together. She could care less if I did it on a weeknight. Kids gotta study and sleep early

Not sure what your wife's reasons are, but if by training 6am every morning, you are leaving your wife to handle all the chores and work to get your kids out the door to school, she'd probably resent the sport and not appreciate your obsession.

I find it's best to understand the problem at its root and have an open discussion about it. Good luck!

Brs said:

I think almost everyone here has that problem

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langel said:

Well, I personally don't have the problem.

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tropical said:

My wife is a very understanding woman. She always encourages me to play no matter how late, long, or often. She even accompanies me to go watch TT tournaments while she has zero knowledge on TT.

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JHB said:

I've been married for nearly 40 years. I don't womanise (and never have), I do my share at home, and I've always encouraged my wife to have intereests of her own too. Consequently I never have a problem with going to do what I want to do when I want to do it.

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FWIW, my wife also encourages me to play as much as I like.

Here’s the stupid thing: obviously each of us is different and our significant relationships are all different, but… we make sweeping generalisations in our thinking and finish up saying dumb stuff even when the evidence is right in front of us. Truth is, some people have a problem; some people don’t. Sometimes the problem is major, sometimes it’s minor. Sometimes the problem is the wife has unreasonable expectations, sometimes it’s the husband who’s unreasonable. Sometimes the wife is identifying something in the relationship which needs attending to, sometimes the husband is blind to the problem. Sometimes the couple have never sat down and had a serious conversation about their hopes and expectations for the relationship. Sometimes there are unspoken fears and anxieties that are never addressed.

But it’s much, much, much easier just to make sweeping generalisations which make it seem like all women are a problem. And it’s certainly a whole lot easier than the man putting his hand up and saying, “I don’t do my share of the housework. I don’t share the load of child rearing. I don’t encourage my wife to go out three or four times every week to follow her passion. But I do complain when she buys a new pair of shoes.” Whoops! That’s a sweeping generalisation too!