Etiquette question

This user has no status.
This user has no status.
Member
May 2018
67
16
104
If my opponent returns a net ball or edge ball and I later win the point, but not because of the lucky shot, am I still expected to apologize?

Maybe my opponent recovered and later hit the ball off the table in the middle of a even rally, or maybe my opponent later had me on the defensive and slammed the ball into the net. In each of these circumstances, am I still expected to apologize for the lucky shot?
 
This user has no status.
Yes. If the other guys makes a net or edge or maybe both and later you do the same thing. You still apologize. Heck I myself always apologize for some reason each time a get a direct point for some reason, when I don't need to apologize.
Think of it like this. It's something that happened out of nowhere and you're sorry (even if you're not) that it happened.
 
This user has no status.
This user has no status.
Member
Feb 2012
158
158
408
As the OP notes, it's a question of etiquette. Etiquette is always a matter of choice. Choose to apologise even if you don't need to, your opponent will probably think well of you. Don't apologise, and your opponent may or may not think you're a jerk. I always choose to apologise.
 
  • Like
Reactions: suds79 and yoass
This user has no status.
This user has no status.
Well-Known Member
Apr 2014
1,486
1,087
2,609
Read 3 reviews
If my opponent returns a net ball or edge ball and I later win the point, but not because of the lucky shot, am I still expected to apologize?

Make it a habit, don´t think about it.

And of course the guy in your example who smashes the ball into the net will ONLY have done so because your lucky shot influenced the rally to go that way ;)
 
  • Like
Reactions: yoass
says The sticky bit is stuck.
says The sticky bit is stuck.
Well-Known Member
Jan 2017
2,764
2,607
8,135
Read 8 reviews
An apology never hurts. I say sorry when my opponents loses a point through a service error.

But I do that because I mean it. I want to earn my points by my gameplay, and everything short of that taints a victory for me.

That being said, sincerity matters. I can tell, sometimes, when people apologize without meaning it, often even gleefully because they won a point in contrast with the natural flow of a rally.

Some players even use such marginal points to play a mental battle. By not apologizing or by vehemently celebrating ugly luck. By throwing temper tantrums when you clip the edge, net, or achieve “double happiness” (as some call it) and manage both in one go. Surprisingly players that get lots of lucky points themselves (unapologetically or gleefully) are the same players that totally freak out if you get one. P’shah.

When that happens, my composure does not change but I steel up inside and use the negative energy fed to me for extreme focus, entering a killer mentality rather than my usual play mode. Usually, I don’t play to win, but to play a good match and have fun in doing that, fun with and for the opponent. Not so anymore when encountering unsportspersonly attitudes. The jugular it is, then, sans mercy and regardless of elegance or esthetics.
 
Last edited:
says Shoo...nothing to see here. - zeio
says Shoo...nothing to see here. - zeio
Well-Known Member
Jan 2018
7,227
9,314
18,294
Most of the time, yes.

When your career is on the line though, you might find it necessary to be an ass.

 
says The sticky bit is stuck.
says The sticky bit is stuck.
Well-Known Member
Jan 2017
2,764
2,607
8,135
Read 8 reviews
When your career is on the line though, you might find it necessary to be an ass.

Disagree on the necessity. It’s an open choice, not a necessity. And if and when the choice is between career and being a jurk, I’d say that’s an easy choice. Careers come and go, are fleeting things, but you’ll carry your bad behaviour for the rest of your life.
 
says Shoo...nothing to see here. - zeio
says Shoo...nothing to see here. - zeio
Well-Known Member
Jan 2018
7,227
9,314
18,294
Disagree on the necessity. It’s an open choice, not a necessity. And if and when the choice is between career and being a jurk, I’d say that’s an easy choice. Careers come and go, are fleeting things, but you’ll carry your bad behaviour for the rest of your life.

Tell that to LSW. She broke the CNT's long-standing unwritten rule of never handing the opponent a bagel. She talked about it openly in the interview.

 
I don't think of it really as an apology, and more of an acknowldgement.

It's not so much "sorry I won a lucky point". So much as an acknowledgement that the point wasn't won purely on player merit due to factors such as a net/edge/anything other than clean hitting from both players having played a role in the outcome.

What you choose to acknowledge is purely personal choice.
 
  • Like
Reactions: suds79
says The sticky bit is stuck.
says The sticky bit is stuck.
Well-Known Member
Jan 2017
2,764
2,607
8,135
Read 8 reviews
Tell that to LSW.

Well, I would if I could. But I can’t, so I won’t.

Later edit: after watching the actual footage (which I assumed to be on-topic), it turned out not to be (in my opinion). This wasn't LSW sticking it, but about a clearly considered and respectfully played flow of game events.

So that "sadly" leaves me with nothing to reproach LSW for.
 
Last edited:
says Shoo...nothing to see here. - zeio
says Shoo...nothing to see here. - zeio
Well-Known Member
Jan 2018
7,227
9,314
18,294
Man, you're starting to sound like nivekkan...
ee25f377455c8cdf18decb14c69df3ad.gif
 
  • Like
Reactions: nivekkan and yoass

Brs

This user has no status.

Brs

This user has no status.
Well-Known Member
Oct 2015
1,107
1,376
2,608
The reflex apology is bad because sometimes you are halfway through saying sorry with your hand up and the opponent plays the ball back. So I learned to wait for the point to be over.

I'll just put my hand up unless the net was truly an unreturnable dribbler, then I say sorry. More than half of net balls are completely playable. People who don't play the ball out when nets happen in practice or warmups get a mindset that a net ball means the point is over. I don't feel sorry for those opponents. They are just lazy.

And in the same way that people who aim for the lines will get an occasional edge, people who play with less safety over the net get more nets. My opponents never apologize to me when my shot clips the net and goes long, or lands in the net.

It's a ridiculous convention to apologize for what are ridiculously called lucky balls, but it's the convention so I comply with it. Some players do lose their minds about nets and edges so it's mostly to help them maintain their composure so you can have an enjoyable match.
 

Brs

This user has no status.

Brs

This user has no status.
Well-Known Member
Oct 2015
1,107
1,376
2,608
@zeio thanks for reposting that LSW interview. I love when she says she "dropped all my burdens" halfway through the DN match. Best match coaching advice ever.
 
  • Like
Reactions: zeio
This user has no status.
This user has no status.
Member
Nov 2013
200
125
333
It depends on the context. In club play against the same folks most every week, we tend to get more sarcastic and make jokes. Things like “excellent placement on that edge shot” or “That’s a quality net ball”, or sometimes even shouting “Yes” followed by an apology is common. In more formal tournaments, of course, more composure is called for.
 
  • Like
Reactions: nivekkan
This user has no status.
The reflex apology is bad because sometimes you are halfway through saying sorry with your hand up and the opponent plays the ball back. So I learned to wait for the point to be over.

I'll just put my hand up unless the net was truly an unreturnable dribbler, then I say sorry. More than half of net balls are completely playable. People who don't play the ball out when nets happen in practice or warmups get a mindset that a net ball means the point is over. I don't feel sorry for those opponents. They are just lazy.

And in the same way that people who aim for the lines will get an occasional edge, people who play with less safety over the net get more nets. My opponents never apologize to me when my shot clips the net and goes long, or lands in the net.

It's a ridiculous convention to apologize for what are ridiculously called lucky balls, but it's the convention so I comply with it. Some players do lose their minds about nets and edges so it's mostly to help them maintain their composure so you can have an enjoyable match.

make sense.
 

Brs

This user has no status.

Brs

This user has no status.
Well-Known Member
Oct 2015
1,107
1,376
2,608
in Japan, at amateur levels, an edge ball or net is welcomed by a joyful "ラッキ!!" to be pronounced "Rakki" [from "lucky" in English"]

its a way of expressing at the same time your joy, and letting know to the opponent that point had luck to do with it . No need to apologize !

:)

When I started playing one regular at the local club was an older Cambodian man. He liked to lob and got lots of edges and plenty of nets too. He would always say "Lucky me!" in the same joyful way you say is common in Japan. Kim stopped coming a few years ago but some of us still call those balls lucky me's in his honor. You couldn't get upset when you heard him say it.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Takkyu_wa_inochi
Top