New "Rules" for Table Tennis

UpSideDownCarl · Nov 12, 2019

Baal said:
Supplement 4. If you buy a blade on Aliexpress you should not ask people here if it is fake or not.

I think I may have to start deleting threads where this happens to help enforce this supplement.

bricec · Nov 12, 2019

Baal said:
Doing it simply because you think it looks "pro" is a crime against table tennis.

What is the Gods' view on doing it to control pace and mess with the opponent's head?

Baal · Nov 12, 2019

Rule 6

bricec · Nov 12, 2019

Baal said:
Rule 6

Should the opponent harden? Or should both? And if both, then rule 6 does not provide any help!

Baal · Nov 12, 2019

Supplement 6. Attempts to mess with your opponent's head will mess with your head.

bricec · Nov 12, 2019

I'm starting to question whether those supplements actually come from the Gods or if you're making them up as you go

Kuba Hajto · Nov 12, 2019

Baal said:
Supplement 6. Attempts to mess with your opponent's head will mess with your head.

Yeah, that's called reverse mind games.

Baal · Nov 12, 2019

bricec said:
I'm starting to question whether those supplements actually come from the Gods or if you're making them up as you go

Our building has an office suite for Canaanite Fertility Deities. Moloch and I share a secretary. The Gods of Table Tennis are just down the hall (a much smaller suite but they are not to be underestimated).

bricec · Nov 12, 2019

Baal said:
Our building has an office suite for Canaanite Fertility Deities. Moloch and I share a secretary. The Gods of Table Tennis are just down the hall (a much smaller suite but they are not to be underestimated).

That sounds an awful lot like a bullsh*t answer. You should be ashamed of yourself for not respecting Rule 88.

Baal · Nov 12, 2019

Ba'al has spoken.

Baal · Nov 14, 2019

Supplement 7. If you are thinking about buying a blade on ebay and the price is 4,500 dollars, euros, or pounds sterling......... don't do it. Take your family on a vacation instead.

(Consider the kind of person you would be dealing with who would even contemplate listing it for that price and, even more imporrtantly, the kind of bad ju ju this would generate between you and the Table Tennis Gods. And you don't want bad ju ju).

You are encouraged to post about it here though, so we can all just shake our heads. It is therapeutic.

MOG · Nov 14, 2019

Baal, oh wise one. Is there a rule that deals with opponents apologising when I serve in the net!!

Baal · Nov 15, 2019

I would suggest not serving into the net.

Nevertheless the Table Tennis Gods have indicated another Supplement is needed owing to essentially criminal behavior of some humans. To whit:

Supplement 8. You are not allowed to apologize to your opponent for his or her errors!

And note again that apologies for nets and edges (which are mandatory under Rule 4) must consist of nothing more than raising a hand to acknowledge that it happened. No vocalization is required (and indeed is strongly discouraged).

Baal · Nov 20, 2019

Disallowed.

On hot days Rule 6 applies.

Ba'al has spoken.

Der_Echte · Nov 20, 2019

Should do like PP-Holic and rip of shirt sleeves off to make a muscle TT jersey worthy of displaying those Gunz of hiz.

UpSideDownCarl · Nov 20, 2019

Rule 6. Baal seems to have spoken.

Der_Echte · Nov 20, 2019

PP-Holic bust breaks rule 6, turns to camera, flashes hiz gunz and sez "What 'ya gunna do about it man ???"

Der_Echte · Nov 20, 2019

Someone gotta PM Holic on that one.

Baal · Nov 20, 2019

Bad juju occurs irrespective of physique.

Do not risk bad juju with TT Gods.

Obey.

UpSideDownCarl · Nov 20, 2019

Which Are The Most Important Rules?

Baal said:
This is the definitive compilation of the Rules for Table Tennis as delivered by the Table Tennis Gods, not the mere ITTF. See the rest of the thread for further commentary.

6. Harden the f^#k up. Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

88.______

100. Obey the rules!!

Okay. I tried to compile a smaller list of the rules I felt were most important. Half way through, I realized that I still had 98 rules from the list.

So, I decided that it could not be done. But as of now, these are my three favorite. Tomorrow it will be a different 97 or so rules that will be my favorite.

The full set of rules is very important to the task at hand.

New "Rules" for Table Tennis

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