New "Rules" for Table Tennis

says 2023 Certified Organ Donor
says 2023 Certified Organ Donor
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Baal said:
Carl these and other transgressions are why Ba'al has spoken. Finally.

How many times must we find a table covered with someone else's sweat? How many times should we forced to behold 58 year old Mr Jones wearing a Donic shirt with his name on tbe back, Butterfly shorts, and black compression socks reaching his knees, pushing every ball, losing track of tbe score and complaining here about his opponent's serves? Mr. Jones simply needs guidance.

Must we have yet another thread on Tenergy 05 alternatives and problems with TTNPP not answering emails? Not to mention flame wars on the Coefficient of Restitution, to bring back some particularly vivid nightmares about People Being Wrong on the Internet..

No!!! These things are not pleasing to anyone.

Rules were needed.100 of them. Minus 1.

The New World Order has begun.

And with that it is quite possible that I have nothing left to say about Table Tennis.

100 rules has kicked down the door to the New World Order.

Quick Carl, pack your NSA Spy Phoney into the secret Briefcase and make the mad dash to the security line at JFK Aitport to get to DC Comics HQ in time for the Concept Briefing.

Goon Squad, get out of the way, Carl is in a hurry !!

nwo1.jpg
 
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Well you could wear your Donic shirt on the weekend as long as you are under 50 (see Rule 8)..
 
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Addendum to Rule 28. While less egregious, you are not allowed to ask about Tenergy 05 FX alternatives either.
 
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And yet people are violating 27 and 52 as I write this.
 
says Spin and more spin.
says Spin and more spin.
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I probably should.

I kind of like how the rules seem to roll out over time.

I guess they could be combined in a post at the end. That way, the first post doesn't ruin the story for anyone who wants to watch it unfold. :)
 
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Some people have enquired how they can comply with Rule 20 after they have identified the perfect blade (for example I have played with Viscaria since 2007).

Recall that Rule 20 states: "The correct number of blades to own is n + 1 where n is the number you own now. An exemption can be made for players in committed relationships, in which case the correct number is s-1, where s is the number of blades that causes your spouse or partner to leave you."

The answer is easy. Simply buy more of them. After all, you need a spare, then a spare for the spare, and of course black tag ones are even more desirable and mark you as a Man of Distinction and a Big Spender.

I hope this helps those in need of clarification.
 
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Excellent advice, but not one of the Rules delivered by the Ping Pong Gods, at least not quite so directly. They strongly hint at that idea in Rule 27 which states that you are not allowed to believe that the next blade (or rubber for that matter) that you buy will actually make you better.
 
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As a slightly over weight over 50 I plead that Rule no. 8 not apply to the Xiom range as their rather dashing TT tops make me feel 10 years younger.

Rule 12 applies here or at least has explanatory value. To whit: Recognize that no matter how you think you look like when playing in your mind's eye, in reality you are probably not that good.

The rules were delivered by the Table Tennis Gods, who see all and know all. Sadly for some, and Ba'al certainly sympathizes, The Rules are reality-based.

Ba'al has spoken.

P.S. You could try wearing a bandana like a pirate, perhaps that helps. Better yet, buy more blades. Rule 20.
 
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