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  1. Zaid323918 is offline
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    #41
    Rule 78. Don't refuse to play with someone who doesn't use a Nittaku Premium. There are other ABS balls on the market that play very similar.

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  2. Der_Echte is offline
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    #42
    NBS = Nittaku Ball Snob - a player who will play with ONLY with Nittaku Premium 3* match balls.
    President, Korea Foreign Table Tennis Club. Hit us up on TTD or Facebook
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    #43
    Quote Originally Posted by Zaid323918
    Rule 78. Don't refuse to play with someone who doesn't use a Nittaku Premium. There are other ABS balls on the market that play very similar.
    +1

    there are a couple of such connoisseurs at my club too

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  4. Baal is offline
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    #44
    Rule 78. The Rules come from the Ping Pong Gods, and you do not negotiate with the Ping Pong Gods. Rule zero states, Obey the Rules.

    Rule 79. If you are unsatisfied with the ball that your partner pulls out of the bag, then you are not merely advised but obligated to immediately produce a better ball that in most cases should be new or once-used. Furthermore, you are not allowed to reject your partner's original ball solely on the basis of the brand unless it violates Rule 19.

    Rule 80. More generally, you are not allowed to play with balls that are not round, do not bounce, or that have lost their surface friction except for multiball drills and serve practice. See also Rule 19, which is redundant since cellulose acetate balls do not bounce and are not round. If neither player has a decent ball they are required to cease table tennis activities or borrow a good one from a clubmate in exchange for beer or other valuable items or services.
    Last edited by Baal; 10-07-2019 at 11:10 PM.

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    #45
    Oh man this is so good. Here's a fun game. Pick your 1 favorite from each post of Baal. They're grouped together. Keep one, forget the rest.


    GO!


    My votes:
    2. No choing unless your are getting paid to win. Further, players under 1200 rating using Tenergy are not allowed any sort of celebration when their shots land on the table.
    17 However you may not post threads on TT forums complaining about opponents who serve illegally.
    24 You may not defend TTex on table tennis forums or social media, and similarly you are not allowed to mention Pickleball or in any way acknowledge its existence.
    28. There is no alternative to Tenergy, even though other rubbers are very good indeed. Stop aski
    31. TTNPP will not return your emails. Stop asking. Your stuff will arrive eventually.
    40. Practicing shadow strokes is weird. It is allowed but do it in private.
    41. It is allowed to call our sport ping pong. But the simple word "pong" is preferred.
    46. All practice sessions that have included at least 30 minutes of forehand looping must include an equivalent length of time practicing the short game and return of serve.
    51. Deep or contentious discussions of physics in threads on table tennis forums should probably be avoided. Exceptions can be made for players with doctorates in aerospace engineering who have playing levels of 2300 or greater.
    56. That "national" version of a rubber you just got probably isn't.
    63. Players must recognize that there is more that goes into running a tournament, league, or club than meets the eye and nobody is getting rich doing this.
    66. Actually coaching kids to cho like Harimoto is a Crime Against Table Tennis and is not allowed.
    72. Upon the third time both players in a match forget the score they must cease all TT activities for the day and go drink beer.


    Really hard to eliminate some of those.

  6. Der_Echte is offline
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    #46
    Quote Originally Posted by Baal
    Rule 78. The Rules come from the Ping Pong Gods, and you do not negotiate with the Ping Pong Gods. Rule zero states, Obey the Rules... Obey ! OBEY !! emphasis added.
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    President, Korea Foreign Table Tennis Club. Hit us up on TTD or Facebook
    http://www.facebook.com/koreaforeignttc

    Janitor at NexyUSA TT Equipment Shop
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    View our Lame Nexy USA corporate FB page
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  7. MOG is offline
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    #47
    I have taken the liberty of compiling the full set of rules into a conveniently printable word document.

    We should all print a copy and pin them up at our local club.

    I shall also be laminating a set of the rules and displaying them at all my future tournaments!!

  8. BACKHAND is offline
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    #48
    I have just seen a link to this thread on a UK TT Facebook group and it is very funny.
    I would like to add another rule.
    ITTF Expedite rule states
    2.15.1 Except as provided in 2.15.2, the expedite system shall come into operationafter 10 minutes’ play in a game or at any time when requested by both playersor pairs.2.15.2 The expedite system shall not be introduced in a game if at least 18 points havebeen scored.

    Rule 81 If you can't finish a game in the 10 minutes allowed. Please leave the table and let those that can because you are holding up the whole evening.

  9. Baal is offline
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    #49
    So it is written, so it shall be done!

    Rule 81 You are not allowed to invoke the expedite rule unless you are a professional player. Instead you must relinquish the table to people who can get on with the job at hand because you are holding up the whole evening. You are also reminded of Rule 11.

    and wait. There's more.

    Rule 82. Players are required to contribute to setting up or taking down barriers at venues where this is done on a daily basis. An exemption can be granted to players who use a single ball in a single rally and who never once miss for the entirety of their session.


    Last edited by Baal; 10-08-2019 at 09:25 PM.

  10. BACKHAND is offline
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    #50
    I am very happy you added that to the Wise new rules of TT.
    It is really annoying when you have the clock on a game and it gets to 9-9 in almost 10 minutes.
    And it is not until the 5th end that they finally play for 10 minutes and at 5-5 and they have already been hogging the table for almost an hour. They have really been enjoying themselves pushing for ever. While the rest in the room are asleep or have lost the will to live.
    I must admit though that I have often called Expedite at 9-8 in only 8 minutes just to save everyone else from the mental anguish. They don't know anyway they were to busy pushing to watch the clock as well.

  11. Baal is offline
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    #51
    Rule 83. You are not allowed to sniff the glue.

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    #52
    Quote Originally Posted by Baal
    Rule 83. You are not allowed to sniff the glue.
    Now hold on. I've agreed with all the rules right up to this one so far. If I can't smell my glue anymore I'm done with TT. The lovely lavender smell Butterfly has, the strong chemical smell Rev.3 has, even glue sheets have a distinct smell I can't quite describe.....

  13. yogi_bear is offline
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    #53
    The distinct smell for Rev 3 is ammonia i think.

  14. Baal is offline
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    #54
    Rule 84. You are not allowed to wear a hat of any type while playing table tennis. If necessary you are allowed to use a headband or wear a bandana like a pirate.

    Exemptions for religious reasons of course.
    Last edited by Baal; 10-17-2019 at 08:05 PM.

  15. JHB is offline
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    #55
    Quote Originally Posted by Zaid323918
    Rule 78. Don't refuse to play with someone who doesn't use a Nittaku Premium. There are other ABS balls on the market that play very similar.
    Last night I produced a Nittaku Premium as a match ball and my opponent refused to have anything to do with it, insisting on using the Nittaku SHA everyone had been knocking up with for the previous 20 minutes. Some people....
    Second/spare blade: Joola K7 with Tibhar Evolution MX-P (forehand) and MX-S (backhand)

  16. Hamasaki_Fanz is offline
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    #56
    Quote Originally Posted by JHB
    Last night I produced a Nittaku Premium as a match ball and my opponent refused to have anything to do with it, insisting on using the Nittaku SHA everyone had been knocking up with for the previous 20 minutes. Some people....
    I wouldn't play as well, let's play using my DHS WorldTour instead.

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  17. JHB is offline
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    #57
    Quote Originally Posted by Hamasaki_Fanz
    I wouldn't play as well, let's play using my DHS WorldTour instead.
    Tee hee, each to their own ! I wanted to play with the NP40+ because with that ball I can sometimes get my services to bounce twice - not that I told him that, lol. Anyway, if there is one thing I've learned since the plastic ball appeared, it is that there's an awful lot of balls spoken about balls......
    Second/spare blade: Joola K7 with Tibhar Evolution MX-P (forehand) and MX-S (backhand)

  18. Simas is offline
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    #58
    Quote Originally Posted by suds79
    66. Actually coaching kids to cho like Harimoto is a Crime Against Table Tennis and is not allowed.
    +100 .

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  19. Baal is offline
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    #59
    Rule 85. You are absolutely not allowed to try to win the points in the warm up. Save it for three minutes later when the match starts. If you fail to grasp this simple concept you are required to take remedial action (watch a video With an example of how elite players approach this) or quit the sport.

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  20. mart1nandersson is offline
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    #60
    Quote Originally Posted by Baal
    Rule 85. You are absolutely not allowed to try to win the points in the warm up. Save it for three minutes later when the match starts. If you fail to grasp this simple concept you are required to take remedial action (watch a video With an example of how elite players approach this) or quit the sport.
    That's actually quite common over here during warm ups especially before league matches. I guess that they see it as some kind of way of showing dominance by looping really hard. Annoying as hell.

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