New "Rules" for Table Tennis

Baal · Oct 25, 2019

In the spirit of Rule 20, you are relieved of the responsibility to buy a new blade every week if you agree to buy two sheets of every version of Dignics that Will undoubtedly be introduced.

Kuba Hajto · Oct 25, 2019

Baal said:
In the spirit of Rule 20, you are relieved of the responsibility to buy a new blade every week if you agree to buy two sheets of every version of Dignics that Will undoubtedly be introduced.

Why not both?

Baal · Oct 25, 2019

Indeed.

On another topic, upon conferring with Table Tennis Gods I have learned that Rule 70 was written was incomplete. It should have included the provision (no present) that if a weak or new player asks you to play and you evade them by saying you are "done for the night", then you must not play more that evening. At the same time, weak players are not allowed to abuse this rule. And this does not specify how long the superior player is required to play with the weak one (but if the weaker player is quite attractive, one could imagine for the rest of the evening, much to the frustration of clubmates).

Ba'al has spoken.

Baal · Oct 27, 2019

The Table Tennis Gods have modified Rule 57 to add freaking BOILING WATER to the things you are not allowed to apply to your equipment. I mean dudes (and dudettes), REALLY!!! You are better than that.

Baal · Oct 28, 2019

Rule 56 informs us that that national version of Hurricane you bought probably isn't.

Certainly then our enlightened members can understand what the table tennis gods might think of a $20 Viscaria from Aliexpress, or someone on a Chinese website offering special "pro" items including a special "National" version of Tenergy that is the same kind used by a "Nigerian Prince" I mean Fan Zhendong for the low low price of $200 per sheet.

Sometimes the Rules require exegesis. That is, you can see one rule and extend it to a slightly different situation. The Table Tennis Gods want you to think for yourselves.

netdriver · Oct 29, 2019

rule 101: seal all your blades or face the consequences

cuz a good chunk of splinters was ripped out of the sides of my blade (yes, both sides) when i removed the edge tape

UpSideDownCarl · Oct 29, 2019

netdriver said:
rule 101: seal all your blades or face the consequences

cuz a good chunk of splinters was ripped out of the sides of my blade (yes, both sides) when i removed the edge tape

I thought the rules were that only Baal actually gets to make the rules and it seems Baal has decided that there are only 100 rules (-1).

Baal said:
No!!! These things are not pleasing to anyone.

Rules were needed.100 of them. Minus 1.

The New World Order has begun.

And with that it is quite possible that I have nothing left to say about Table Tennis.

netdriver · Oct 29, 2019

my bad

Baal · Oct 29, 2019

Netdriver is not Bad. His comment augurs well for future enlightenment. Indeed, that is potentially good advice in an absolute non-abstract sense. But it is not a Rule since the Table Tennis Gods play 14-dimensional chess and love abstraction. Not sealing your blade is bad for the blade potentially but of course netdriver already owns n blades so even the possibility that he might damage one is a reason to own n + 1 blades (Rule 20). And of course you are using an expensive rubber (even if it is not a T05 alternative, Rule 28) so you are going to use a good glue (nothing that would be likely to damage the wood, Rule 33). But it MIGHT damage the wood. So you need a spare blade, and a spare for the spare... (Rule 20).

Ba'al has spoken.

Baal · Oct 30, 2019

People get into flame wars over really dumb stuff. They should be training harder and buying more blades instead.

Matthias Ngai · Oct 30, 2019

Rule 102: Never Cho Le for every ball you won, just like how the Japanese team did.

UpSideDownCarl · Oct 30, 2019

Matthias Ngai said:
Rule 102: Never Cho Le for every ball you won, just like how the Japanese team did.

Another person not knowing the rules and trying to make up their own rules?

perham · Oct 30, 2019

UpSideDownCarl said:
I thought the rules were that only Baal actually gets to make the rules and it seems Baal has decided that there are only 100 rules (-1).

Given that Baal is one of many gods, I would assume a plethora of other gods can also enact such rules. I wonder what Anath would think about this.

Baal · Oct 30, 2019

Of course the Table Tennis Gods already gave us Rule 2 which does not allow cho-ing at all unless you are a professional player. So Mathais is clearly on the road to enlightenment and will arrive there faster if he reads the Rules.

Note also that the Gods tolerate Harimoto but absolutely forbid teaching anyone to emulate his cho-ing (Rule 66). The Gods also tolerate Bernadette Szocs. For other reasons.

The Rules are Sufficient. You need only Obey.

Baal · Nov 2, 2019

The Gods of Table Tennis have benevolently bestowed the 100-1 Rules.

It is certainly possible that they will bestow various supplements and appendices as necessary to guide faithfull and obsessive players into the Correct Ways --- which if faithfully followed ensure that YOU get the good nets and edges, and not your opponent. It should not be considered that these are Rules.

Of those there can be only 100 - 1.

However these amendments will be more than just suggestions.

Baal · Nov 2, 2019

Supplement 1. On table tennis forums you should not actually answer requests about alternatives to Tenergy with anything other than sarcasm.

Matthias Ngai · Nov 2, 2019

UpSideDownCarl said:
Another person not knowing the rules and trying to make up their own rules?

wdym not knowing the rule? I'm an experienced table tennis player myself.
This page is for the unspoken rules, be humorous please, thanks.

Baal · Nov 2, 2019

Yes Mathias. And clearly you are one of illuminati since you do not scream cho like a barbarian. But the 100 - 1 Rules are no longer "unspoken". After all,

Ba'al has spoken.

So it is written, so it shall be done.

Baal · Nov 2, 2019

Supplement 2. If you are interested in person as a long-term partner, bringing them to your table tennis club may not be a great idea unless you are a professional player or are already mutually committed to each other, and even then your table tennis expenditures should not be revealed..

Matthias Ngai · Nov 2, 2019

Baal said:
Yes Mathias. And clearly you are one of illuminati since you do not scream cho like a barbarian. But the 100 - 1 Rules are no longer "unspoken". After all,

Ba'al has spoken.

So it is written, so it shall be done.

I do scream when I played extraordinary. I like to stay humble

Not bad, being an illuminati, thanks for the compliment.

New "Rules" for Table Tennis

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