Need Equipment Help

says Spin and more spin.
says Spin and more spin.
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So, I don't want to train, I don't want to change or improve my technique, I don't even want to practice. I just want to play matches and beat the guys who usually beat me. And even the guys who beat me really easily when it doesn't look like they are trying. I want this at all cost. I want a big payday. I know I can get the right equipment to beat these guys.

So, what equipment do I need. What blade, what rubbers? Should I use more than one setup. Like, should I have a setup with Short Pips, one with Medium Pips, one with Long Pips and one with smooth? Is it legal to change rackets in the middle of the point? Would that help me beat people?

Has anyone tried the new Tenergy 1005 that is supposed to be coming out? Will it really cost $1,005.00 USD per sheet?

Has anyone tried the Schildkröt 900? Is it really the fastest blade on the planet? Yogi Bear, do you have a review of this blade? Do you think that will help me beat more people if I am using Tenergy 1005 and the Schkildkröt 900?

What should I get for the BH? Can you recommend a good smooth rubber that will make my BH better. A SP that nobody can handle? A MP that will flummox my foes? And a LP to give the worst wobble balls ever seen?

Does it make sense for me to use 4 different setups?

What about balls? Does anyone in TT today have balls.

Is there a ball I can use that will go fast and spin a lot when I hit it, but go slow and not have much spin when my opponent hits it so it is more easy for me to handle their shots?
 
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says The sticky bit is stuck.
says The sticky bit is stuck.
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The Schildkröt 900 and T1005 may do just fine, provided you use the goldplated Nittaku Ultra Premium. A steal at a mere $1200 a pop.

However, one thing you really need to do is to open up the 900’s handle and fill it with a mix of ground T-Rex bones and the Kohinoor, pounded into a fine powder. Mix with fossil hide glue and fill away. This will restore balance to the force of the blade.

Next to that, T1005 is next to unplayable unless properly boosted. You need at least three layers of oil extracted from Lady Spencer post mortem tissue samples.

A mere trifle, and you’re good to go!
 
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If you are going to chance applying a $1005 rubber yourself, don't skimp on the Der Echte box cutter lubricant.
 
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If you are going to chance applying a $1005 rubber yourself, don't skimp on the Der Echte box cutter lubricant.

Man... I was SO HOPING you would strongly advocate LICKING IT before cutting it... but I understand... it is Sunday night late before a work day... sometimes we are off our game.
 
says Spin and more spin.
says Spin and more spin.
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Man... I was SO HOPING you would strongly advocate LICKING IT before cutting it... but I understand... it is Sunday night late before a work day... sometimes we are off our game.

Okay, so, I've got all that info and I have a few questions: when I ground down the Kohinoor and the T-Rex bones, to add to the hollow space in the handle, should I also take some of that fine bone/diamond dust produced and add it to some sealant to put on the blade face?

And, does Der, have to lick the blade before I cut the rubbers? Can he lick the rubbers too? Should he lick the sponge before I add the glue? I guess I will need some sweat from his jersey while he is playing for the ultimate boost and clean of the rubbers once they have been glued on.

An important question comes to mind: how many rating points do you think I can add if I order the CNT issue National socks and underwear? Do those come factory tuned or do I need to boost them?

Do you think all this I am doing will make it so I can win without moving my feet at all?

Yogi, once the blade is assembled, I would love to hear a review. And maybe a comparison to the setup ZJK used to win the 2011 WTTC Singles Title.
 
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An important question comes to mind: how many rating points do you think I can add if I order the CNT issue National socks and underwear? Do those come factory tuned or do I need to boost them?

Yes, it comes pre-boosted with Ma Long's own sweat. DHS follows him to every training and funnels his sweat from his towels. That's why its soooo expensive! Due to limited supply ofc.
 
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Okay, so, I've got all that info and I have a few questions: when I ground down the Kohinoor and the T-Rex bones, to add to the hollow space in the handle, should I also take some of that fine bone/diamond dust produced and add it to some sealant to put on the blade face?

And, does Der, has to lick the blade before I cut the rubbers? Can he lick the rubbers too? Should he lick the sponge before I add the glue? I guess I will need some sweat from his jersey while he is playing for the ultimate boost and clean of the rubbers once they have been glued on.

An important question comes to mind: how many rating points do you think I can add if I order the CNT issue National socks and underwear? Do those come factory tuned or do I need to boost them?

Do you think all this I am doing will make it so I can win without moving my feet at all?

Yogi, once the blade is assembled, I would love to hear a review. And maybe a comparison to the setup ZJK used to win the 2011 WTTC Singles Title.

Not just lick, need a bit of Der blood infused on the blade too. Must be the special kimchi they feed him.
 
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My personal safety practice when licking razorback used to cut rubbers is to lick top to bottom.

My personal preference when locking a rubber about to be cut isto lick the rubber side on bottom where cut is to be made and go upwards whatever distance determined by the position and phase of the moon per Farmer's Almenac monthly publication.

The direction one must glue is performed after aligning your map to grid north, then apply the glue offset in the direction and amount of the grid to magnetic north angle, which seems to change every few weeks.

Sent from my SM-N970U using Tapatalk
 
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Ridiculous thread. Let me ask the more important question...

I want all of these things but I also need to it to be under €30 Euro but not be lacking in ANY of the categories in ANY way... what's the best alternative?
 
says toooooo much choice!!
says toooooo much choice!!
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My personal safety practice when licking razorback used to cut rubbers is to lick top to bottom.

My personal preference when locking a rubber about to be cut isto lick the rubber side on bottom where cut is to be made and go upwards whatever distance determined by the position and phase of the moon per Farmer's Almenac monthly publication.

The direction one must glue is performed after aligning your map to grid north, then apply the glue offset in the direction and amount of the grid to magnetic north angle, which seems to change every few weeks.

Sent from my SM-N970U using Tapatalk

if you’re going to lick the sponge and blade you should only do so after drinking from 2 possible sources
1) the holy grail
or
2) the fountain of youth.

the holy grail water will bring any dead rubber back to life and neither blade or rubber will age or fall foul of oxidisation.
where as dribble infused with waters from the fountain of youth ensures that the blade & rubber will never age and any factory boosting will be enhanced to such a high level that you could comfortably play with a bowling ball.
 
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says toooooo much choice!!
says toooooo much choice!!
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Read 11 reviews
Okay, so, I've got all that info and I have a few questions: when I ground down the Kohinoor and the T-Rex bones, to add to the hollow space in the handle, should I also take some of that fine bone/diamond dust produced and add it to some sealant to put on the blade face?

And, does Der, has to lick the blade before I cut the rubbers? Can he lick the rubbers too? Should he lick the sponge before I add the glue? I guess I will need some sweat from his jersey while he is playing for the ultimate boost and clean of the rubbers once they have been glued on.

An important question comes to mind: how many rating points do you think I can add if I order the CNT issue National socks and underwear? Do those come factory tuned or do I need to boost them?

Do you think all this I am doing will make it so I can win without moving my feet at all?

Yogi, once the blade is assembled, I would love to hear a review. And maybe a comparison to the setup ZJK used to win the 2011 WTTC Singles Title.

Hi Carl,

please ensure you use a ‘state of the art’ glue, apparently NASA may have some spare after completion of recent repairs to the space shuttle’s tiles, cost however is astronomical, but I’m sure that won’t deter you.
Another bonus of getting in with NASA is that they would undoubtedly be able to provide you with an excellent jet propulsion system attached to your favourite armchair.
 
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says Spin and more spin.
says Spin and more spin.
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Read 11 reviews
Hi Carl,

please ensure you use a ‘state of the art’ glue, apparently NASA may have some spare after completion of recent repairs to the space shuttle’s tiles, cost however is astronomical, but I’m sure that won’t deter you.
Another bonus of getting in with NASA is that they would undoubtedly be able to provide you with an excellent jet propulsion system attached to your favourite armchair.

Maybe I will ask my good friend Elon Musk if I can get some of the stuff they have at Space-X. :) Turbo Charged by Space-X. :)

I bet he could design that ball where, when I hit it it spins more and goes faster. And when my opponent hits it, it goes slower with less spin. So I can beat everyone even if they are better than me. Maybe like this:

 
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