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  1. sergito1994 is offline
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    #1

    How to help the mind of my GF

    Hi everyone. I would like to help my girlfriend. Shes playing table tennis since shes 14 years old, now shes 21. Shes so good in the training, a bit worse in the matches. Since shes 14 years old, she like and have fun with the training, but when she plays matches (It doesn't matter if the matches are between us or in tournaments or leagues) If she fails at any point, she gets angry very quickly, and begins to say things, she is not able to quickly forget the point and go for the next one. If on training days we play a game, she tries to avoid it, and if we finally play, she gets angry and thoughtful all the training.What pisses her off is to miss shots that do not fail in training, and that makes start to get angry because she is not able to play the same as in training, but she gets even more angry because she herself says that behavior belongs to a girl and she has been trying to change it all her life but she does not know how.
    Any suggestions?

  2. PingBirdPong is offline
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    #2
    Quote Originally Posted by sergito1994
    Hi everyone. I would like to help my girlfriend. Shes playing table tennis since shes 14 years old, now shes 21. Shes so good in the training, a bit worse in the matches. Since shes 14 years old, she like and have fun with the training, but when she plays matches (It doesn't matter if the matches are between us or in tournaments or leagues) If she fails at any point, she gets angry very quickly, and begins to say things, she is not able to quickly forget the point and go for the next one. If on training days we play a game, she tries to avoid it, and if we finally play, she gets angry and thoughtful all the training.What pisses her off is to miss shots that do not fail in training, and that makes start to get angry because she is not able to play the same as in training, but she gets even more angry because she herself says that behavior belongs to a girl and she has been trying to change it all her life but she does not know how.
    Any suggestions?

    Happens to almost everyone. Me too!
    Its just disappointment at herself for messing up something she thought she could or should be able to do. Encourage her to play more matches, and tell her that there are at least 44 points in a 7 game match, so one or two or even five isn’t that big of a deal. Tell her that it’s okay to miss and that the top player miss all the time. Once she gets used to it she will have a better view on losing.

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    Modestly, Leo

  3. Dominikk85 is offline
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by sergito1994
    Hi everyone. I would like to help my girlfriend. Shes playing table tennis since shes 14 years old, now shes 21. Shes so good in the training, a bit worse in the matches. Since shes 14 years old, she like and have fun with the training, but when she plays matches (It doesn't matter if the matches are between us or in tournaments or leagues) If she fails at any point, she gets angry very quickly, and begins to say things, she is not able to quickly forget the point and go for the next one. If on training days we play a game, she tries to avoid it, and if we finally play, she gets angry and thoughtful all the training.What pisses her off is to miss shots that do not fail in training, and that makes start to get angry because she is not able to play the same as in training, but she gets even more angry because she herself says that behavior belongs to a girl and she has been trying to change it all her life but she does not know how.Any suggestions?

    If you Want to have sex you need to let her winI would say she needs to relax and stop caring so much, she is not a pro and win or lose her life is not depending on it

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  4. Gozo is offline
    says May the Spin be with you!
     
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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by sergito1994
    Hi everyone. I would like to help my girlfriend. Shes playing table tennis since shes 14 years old, now shes 21. Shes so good in the training, a bit worse in the matches. Since shes 14 years old, she like and have fun with the training, but when she plays matches (It doesn't matter if the matches are between us or in tournaments or leagues) If she fails at any point, she gets angry very quickly, and begins to say things, she is not able to quickly forget the point and go for the next one. If on training days we play a game, she tries to avoid it, and if we finally play, she gets angry and thoughtful all the training.What pisses her off is to miss shots that do not fail in training, and that makes start to get angry because she is not able to play the same as in training, but she gets even more angry because she herself says that behavior belongs to a girl and she has been trying to change it all her life but she does not know how.
    Any suggestions?
    I also asked the same question to my veteran clubmate. I asked him, " How come when I stroke with you, I am able to do such a beautiful shot and we are able to hit to and fro nicely but when it comes to match play, I sucks and cannot execute beautiful shots like those when stroking? "

    And this was his answer to me, " Hey Gozo, during stroke I am cooperating with you but in matchplay I am competing against you. I purposely try to make it difficult for you to play your return "

    When your GF realise this, it is easy to abandon that frustration feeling knowing that you are playing against a non cooperative player.

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  5. Der_Echte is offline
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    #5
    Training is one thing, Club matches are one thing, and tourney matches are another animal entirely.

    It requires one to have a totally different being for tourney matches. I allow myself to say this or that in club as a way to hold myself accountable, but in the big picture, failing at the training situation or in a club match is one of the things that grows level.

    When I am able to understand that and execute a stronger mental in tourneys like I am a different Der_Echte, then I consistently do better in tourney matches over the last 2-3 years.

    OP, What you are describing is an early phase of evolution.

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  6. pingpongpaddy is offline
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by sergito1994
    Hi everyone. I would like to help my girlfriend. Shes playing table tennis since shes 14 years old, now shes 21. Shes so good in the training, a bit worse in the matches. Since shes 14 years old, she like and have fun with the training, but when she plays matches (It doesn't matter if the matches are between us or in tournaments or leagues) If she fails at any point, she gets angry very quickly, and begins to say things, she is not able to quickly forget the point and go for the next one. If on training days we play a game, she tries to avoid it, and if we finally play, she gets angry and thoughtful all the training.What pisses her off is to miss shots that do not fail in training, and that makes start to get angry because she is not able to play the same as in training, but she gets even more angry because she herself says that behavior belongs to a girl and she has been trying to change it all her life but she does not know how.
    Any suggestions?

    hi sergito
    what you and your gf need to understand is that the ideal fh and bh you make in practice, in a match they become only a helpful reference guide to making your imperfect shots work. This is because your opponents are devoted to putting you into positions where you are off balance. However if you have practiced well you will have the knowledge to adapt your strokes during the match. If you have anxiety that your match stroke is not picture perfect you should put that aside and aim at being comfortable as possible while ensuring that your return is in and pressures opponent if possible.
    Take the time to study a ML vsTB match and appreciate how nearly all the time their strokes are wonderful but not text book because of the tactics of the opponent.
    Also perhaps you and yr gf could do some random placement drills during practice with emphasis on successful but not necessarily beautiful shots under pressure include return of nets and edges .
    good luck

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    Last edited by pingpongpaddy; 1 Week Ago at 08:45 PM.
    ppp

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  7. UpSideDownCarl is offline
    says I like to hit Heavy Topspin
     
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    #7
    This video may have some information about how to help develop game skills:

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    Takkyu_ga_suki

    Setup 1: Blade by Nate: Vortex Spin Machine, FH Evolution MX-K, BH Evolution FX-P
    Setup 2: OSP Virtuoso Plus, FH Rasanter R 48, BH Rasanter R 48
    Spin is Everything

  8. UpSideDownCarl is offline
    says I like to hit Heavy Topspin
     
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    #8
    So, the idea is to get her to practice game skills without counting points and without actually playing games.
    Setup 1: Blade by Nate: Vortex Spin Machine, FH Evolution MX-K, BH Evolution FX-P
    Setup 2: OSP Virtuoso Plus, FH Rasanter R 48, BH Rasanter R 48
    Spin is Everything

  9. Brs is offline
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    #9
    Make a compilation video showing whatever pro players she likes missing balls in matches that should be easy for them. Or just watch a match or two at the world championships together and see how often they miss and what they do to move on to the next point.

    If they train everyday of their life for hours in the best conditions with the best coaches and partners and sometimes they still make unforced errors in matches, how can she expect to never miss?

  10. allencorn is offline
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    #10
    Consult with a good sport psychologist. They could help with expectations, anger, and frustration.

  11. lasta is online now
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    #11
    Find a new girlfriend, or another mutually enjoyable hobby.

    If you want both, then do what Dominiksaid.

  12. PingBirdPong is offline
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    #12
    If no one misses no one wins

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    Modestly, Leo

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