Need help with managing anger.

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I have some problems with anger when I play table tennis, I usually smash my bat when I miss a shot, and I miss a lot, and that makes me really uncomfortable, but I want to change and I am here to ask what could I do, to get less angry from losing? Meditation, green tea?
Or is it because I don't get the right exercise before I play? Or it's because I play with Chen WeiXing Autograph blade (see what I did there?)?
 
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You are likely very angry because you are not accomplishing what you want or expect to do. This is a very natural thing.

I recommend lowering your expectations. That can be difficult as you likely want to achieve certain things, but unless you lower the expectations of what you want, this problem will likely persist until you get better, even then you will have probably increased expectations and maybe problem is worse.
 
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You are likely very angry because you are not accomplishing what you want or expect to do. This is a very natural thing.

I recommend lowering your expectations. That can be difficult as you likely want to achieve certain things, but unless you lower the expectations of what you want, this problem will likely persist until you get better, even then you will have probably increased expectations and maybe problem is worse.

This is actually an amazingly good piece of advice. I was going to say, I have no answer to this. I don't usually get angry when I play. Part of why, I have strange goals and expectations. I want to play with better technique whether I win or lose the point I am playing and/or the match I am playing. But when my footwork does not get me in the right position, or I use bad technique on a stroke for a particular shot, I just observe it and hope that, over time I will replace my bad habits with better habits. The few times I do get upset, it is usually because, for some reason, I expected to win or do better and often it is when I am playing a player I think is worse than I am. But, I also understand that, if I do lose, they did something better than I did, so I don't stay upset for more than a moment or two. And then I laugh, and think, "How funny that I am angry about losing when it is Table Tennis and I love to play. What a silly thing, to be angry about losing when playing is so fun regardless of whether you win or lose."
 
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Funny thing happened during competition.

A friend of mine was playing against this girl (that I just lost to because I got frustrated) and the people keep cheering every time my friend misses or even when she gets lucky and hits the edge for example... I'm sorry but you just DONT do that! That's showing no respect.

SO I decided to do the same and began to cheer everytime she missed ... I applouded as hard as all those people together :p

And after the match when my friend had won I said: It is suddenly much quieter now, isn't it ?

That's how you teach a lesson to a bunch of non-fairplay people :D
 
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Rhonis, look at them sarcasticly and say: "Good ball/Goeie bal"
Then just return to play normally, they will be thinking about it more than you do probably.

I could do that, but I will be lowering my
sportsmanship to the same level as them. I am not sure I would want that.

Send from my Samsung galaxy S using tapatalk 2
 
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I get angry when the opponent is cheering after I missed an easy smash or shot. any tips for that?
I am not angry that I missed the shot, but how can you cheer when your opponent missed an easy shot? argh!

That would definitely make me laugh because they are obviously an idiot. I play with this guy who cheers for nets and edges like he is a drunk recreational player with no manners. It always makes me laugh because the guy is so pathetic.

One time, in some bar, I had something like what Scorpnox described above happening where a crowd of people were cheering for every point their friend got, no matter how he got it. I laughed the whole time and showed their friend no mercy. :) By the end, they did not have much to cheer about. :)
 
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Laughing is key indeed :p You can't always play at your peak, just enjoy what you are capable of doing that moment! Also, instead of being angry about what has happened, you better focus on what will happen. If you do get upset about thinks that already happened, make it analytical instead of just irritation.
 
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I get angry when the opponent is cheering after I missed an easy smash or shot. any tips for that?
I am not angry that I missed the shot, but how can you cheer when your opponent missed an easy shot? argh!

Send from my Samsung galaxy S using tapatalk 2

I usually give the opponent of 3 second riot act read in Korean. If my opponent is Korean, then he really got my point and either realizes it is not cool or continues anyway.

Those opponents REALLY make me want to allow them zero pints. If they cheer on a swing and miss or easy mistake, normally Koreans say CHANCE and and drive on.
 
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I have some problems with anger when I play table tennis, I usually smash my bat when I miss a shot, and I miss a lot, and that makes me really uncomfortable, but I want to change and I am here to ask what could I do, to get less angry from losing? Meditation, green tea?
Or is it because I don't get the right exercise before I play? Or it's because I play with Chen WeiXing Autograph blade (see what I did there?)?

Nobody on this peninsula has broken more bats in anger than I have. Is may be inappropriate for one such as I to make recommendations to others with this problem when I am likely the worst long-term failure in this area.

Changing expectations is the easiest instant one thing you can do to positively change this. myself, this works only a few months as I simply for the life of me do not play with low expectations. If the opponent simply played greater than I did, that is easy to accept, but when you one misses easy chance after easy chance it is too easy to become angry at yourself.

Some other things one can do in this area really take a lot of conscious thing and possibly some modification to your character. Yes, people can change, even one's character, but over time, one cannot hide his or her character, but one can slowly change it, yes.

One of the OTHER ways to cope with this situation is make your objectives of playing into a training event where you are looking to identify causes and possible solutions for your failures.

Example, in a match, if you get a desired underspin ball to your FH power zone, but failed to land your high percentage shot, you look at your vid (hopefuly you took a vid) and look at possible reasons why you failed.

Example instant analysis: Possible reasons why failed: Playing too upright, poor position, poor timing, not hitting ball in strike zone, not squatting down enough, not rotating enough, not expecting the ball, distracted by ball in court or noise, grip was too tight, or simply I wasn't good enough at my level to consistently hit good shots in a match situation, or even the most common solution we do not see is the opponent is simply better and I wasn't able to read his ball due his soft hands or deceptive impact.

Taking an analytical approach does involve changing the expectations, you might still be able to play to win, but be willing to accept failure, then be able to analyze and learn from failure with the expectation of improving later, possible many months down the line.

If one is playing to win at all costs, it will likely hamper the "strategic" long-term development, as well as learning some other tactics to cope with the situations you fail in. It is VERY EASY to fall into the trap of playing to win. It is in our competitive nature to win. We DO learn a lot of things from match play improvising things to achieve the victory, but there is a lot more to table tennis than winning a club match. Yeah, I shoud tattoo that to my forearm, or at least tape it to my bat before I play, eh?

The other way involves some imagining.

One can imagine he or she is at the controls of a complicated control room looking above the situation.

When something goes wrong, the controller records it and tires out another sequence using the controls looking for consistency and winning sequences.

That method is similar to the analytical method, but removes oneself from the immediate situation.


Both methods do not necessarily stop the player from playing to win... it is what we do... or at least STRIVE to do. They are simply ways to cope with the failure in a more positive way for those of use who are not exactly positive about self or others when we/they fail in a situation where there should not often fail.

That leads to a realization for us in our sport that we will often fail, even in situations that are low percentage fail, and do that multible times in a match and STILL win... and STILL be a good player on the move up.

Failure is a constant and the ones who develop the most, more often than not are those who learn WHY they failed, do some things that can reasonable correct it, and move on.
 
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As for bats broken, I haven't broken a bat in anger for many months, but there was a 4 month spell where I broke several, including the one in my signature.

Right now, I am using a $10 ALL+/OFF- looping blade that forces me into more rallies as it is more difficult to hit through anyone on the first shot. My match results are the same or a tick better, but my long term development will likely be significant and measurable. This is the same situation when I did medium/long term testing of the NEXY blades I get from my equipment supplier to test. The ALL+ LISSOM, the OFF- SPARTACUS and SPEAR were excellent examples of blades forcing me to play more rallies and when I returned to the Timo Boll Spirit, my match play and results were better.

Needless to say, the blade I am using now is NOT a blade supplied by our team's sponsor, but that is OK. The president knows I pimp his blades and gear more than enough, plus wear the shirts and post all about it often.

What is amazing about using the Galaxy 896 all-wood ALL+ speed class looping balde is that although it is dirt cheep and a great blade for spinning the ball, I have not one thrown it down under the table in disgust or hit the table with it or done anything to make it break, except sweat like crazy using it, which will invariably make it crack later one day on a future powerloop.

This is a huge change for me as I really like the feel/touch and speed of the stiff OFF Timo Boll Spirit. I can still lay the smack down on counters, especially close to the table on BH as the softer blade gives me a better feel for that one shot over the TBS and I can still explode and rip a fast ball, but it really takes 100% body and that is hard to do and still be ready for the next ball.

Maybe the stark change of playing style leaves me knowing I am not as good at that style as an all-out attack style and makes me more open minded and realistic about my results.
 
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A thing I started doing is making a word document with the names and the playing style of the people who I lost to. I try to think about a solution and find weaknesses and I almost win every time I play a second time against them. :)
If you play a tournament you try to think about their playing style in between games and try to play differently the next game.
 
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A thing I started doing is making a word document with the names and the playing style of the people who I lost to. I try to think about a solution and find weaknesses and I almost win every time I play a second time against them. :)
If you play a tournament you try to think about their playing style in between games and try to play differently the next game.

I did this too but not only to people who beat me, almost everyone I play against, I list their strengths and weaknesses and write possible solutions to them...

Regarding the anger issue, I've never tried to smash my bat or anythin, hehe.. I think I just play and enjoy the game. When I become frustrated, I just think forward and never let past mistakes eg in serving, in receiving, looping/blocking, interrupt me in playing.

My suggestion is that you just enjoy playing and think forward. hehe

Hope that helps. :)
 
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