How do you politely tell someone you don't want to play with them?

[Shuki]

So every day I go to my local club, I try and play at least one "amateur" player because they're usually scared to put their paddle down and challenge the intermediate/good players. I've come across a problem now though. Since have always been friendly with all the newbies, they're all comfortable asking me to play with them which is fine. But once I play them on the table, there's a non-stop line of this type of player wanting to play the winner winner on my table. I feel bad using the "im tired and taking a break after this game" excuse all the time.

And I don't have the heart to just tell someone I don't want to play with them or make them feel like I didn't want to play with them by allowing the loser to stay. I've tried throwing the match to get off the table before but that upset my opponent because they could tell I wasn't trying. What do you do to get off a table?

 

[izra]

"actually i was planning on taking a break now."
"oh sorry i really want to play that guy over there."

make it sound like you HAVE to do it... "i'm tired as HELL, i REALLY need a break!"... "sorry i just HAVE to play that guy, i've been wanting to play him for AGES!"

 

[Boogar]

Step 1: Smash all the warm up shots.
Step 2: Play a game and crush them, then say that they are no challenge and wander off

 

[Gene Tuttle]

So you are tired? Tell them you need a break. You are bored? You could still practice your flips or serves.

 

[Kokain]

I have similar situation and I'm sure everybody else in their club does too. Most decent player already understand they won't be a challenge and they try not to take too much of your time, but there are others who always take advantage of you if you are sitting around. Simply be polite and tell them you are waiting for "that guy over there" to finish and give him a game. Or you are just waiting on your regular partner to finish his drill with the noobster etc..
Don't make a big deal out of it. At our club the bigger problem is when the decent players are afraid to ask our top 3-5 guys for a practice. Worst of all they get all excited and they actually play so bad backhand to backhand I'm also getting frustrated because I've seen them and I know they can keep it on the table even if it pops back a little higher. I keep telling my "friends" to keep practicing drills instead of having a knock when they come to the club, in order to improve quicker and get the touch early on in the evening. Some people get their confidence absolutely ruined after simple back to back and fore to fore drills. They either try to overpower the ball when they are struggling or block instead of counter loop. I can see how they are immediately more comfortable once they start aimlessly playing somebody from division 2. I can't tell is it because we put too much spin on the ball or maybe we keep them very low, maybe it's a combination of both. There is always immediate improvement when some of the intermediates get off the table from me. I just hope they can keep their stroke on they've been using instead of instantly going back to the same old mistakes due to not putting effort.
I personally like my Table Tennis to be like exercise rather than just come and play for fun.

Yeah overall, just let them know you are waiting for your regular partner etc. Most people soon learn who you play and they won't ask unless there is nobody around.

 

[Shuki]

The problem is that I actively go to the amateur players on my own because I don't want to just not let them have a game with someone at a bit of a higher level throughout the entire night. But then I get stuck. The way our club works, a player puts their paddle down next to a table and that means you get winner.

 

[izra]

You could still practice your flips or serves.

the best player in my team is known for almost never beating anyone in practice. if it's not an official match he automatically goes into "today i will practice X stroke" mode. it sometimes gets annoying that i never get to experience him in his competitive mode, but he actually does slowly improve whatever he is practicing so go figure.

 

[Kokain]

What's with the stupid rules in that club? Just go to the table Shuki and do this to their blade

knee chop the shit out of it and they will know you don't want to play them anymore

 

[Shuki]

club rules are there for a reason, if we didn't have a way of forcing players off a table like we do by putting your paddle down on the table declaring that you get the next game. A lot of players would be stuck not playing throughout their entire time there.

 

[Tony's Table Tennis]

The problem is that I actively go to the amateur players on my own because I don't want to just not let them have a game with someone at a bit of a higher level throughout the entire night. But then I get stuck. The way our club works, a player puts their paddle down next to a table and that means you get winner.

I do the same
I call them to play with me. and push them to the limits (making the games close and giving them a chance)

Now and then, there is a new guy in the club and wants to challenge me.
I didn't know what to expect...... but it was always disappointing, I think they are still trying to figure out my serves

 

[Ilia Minkin]

I think that the best thing is to tell honestly that you planned a practice with your partner and you have to follow your agreement with him. You can tell them that you can play/practice with them next time when you have some spare time. And indeed, practice with them next time, or after your practice session.

 

[Tinykin]

Be choosy and play with those who think will improve

It's hard to give advice when each club has its own culture. If you are not a national rising star, you are probably not as good as you think you are. Most players will improve over time, maybe years so the player who you graciously give your time to today will probably be beating you or give you a close game in 2-3 years. This is happening to me today as several formerly weaker players at my club are now as strong as me. This is good as I now have more strong playing partners for practice.
There are ways to play lesser players and still get something out of it.
• Use one strong serve throughout the match. Over time you will learn all the variations of return off that serve.
• Always go for a strong 3rd ball. You’ll be surprised how difficult this can be as the returns can be very unpredictable.
• Practice going for the more difficult down-the line shots rather than the easier cross-court whether with bh or fh.
• Stay up to the table and practice countering their shots rather than simple blocks
• Play as hard as you can. If it means 11-0, then so be it. With more matches, you can then judge whether the player is improving. Then tell the player what you have noticed. They will be most appreciative.

 

[Ilia Minkin]

Alternatively, if there is such a big line of guys wanting to play with you, you can just do rotation: i.e. after somebody makes, say, 3 mistakes, next players comes and so on.

 

[UpSideDownCarl]

As I see it Shuki, you have a few options:

1) You can explain to them that you are playing with them because when you were their level that it was nice when someone who was much higher level would play with you once in a while. But emphasize ONCE IN A WHILE to make it clear that you can only do it once in a while.

2) You can start beating the crap out of them so they stop wanting to play you and stop doing the nice thing in the future.

3) Or you can be straight up with them and say, "you know what, I want to play with people who are my level right now. But we'll play again some other time."


Sent from Deep Space by Abacus

 

[Shuki]

As I see it Shuki, you have a few options:

1) You can explain to them that you are playing with them because when you were their level that it was nice when someone who was much higher level would play with you once in a while. But emphasize ONCE IN A WHILE to make it clear that you can only do it once in a while.

2) You can start beating the crap out of them so they stop wanting to play you and stop doing the nice thing in the future.

3) Or you can be straight up with them and say, "you know what, I want to play with people who are my level right now. But we'll play again some other time."


Sent from Deep Space by Abacus

What I hate about these ways of talking to people is that even if it's obvious I'm on another level compared to them, I hate telling them these types of things because they've often heard me talk about all my problems and how bad I am. I will consider myself bad until I break and hold a level of 2000 for a few tournaments. So if I say I want to play with someone on my level it's basically me telling them that they're worse than bad.

I like Ilia's response the most, explaining that I already made plans to play with someone else and that I need to make sure to follow up on that promise. That's probably the path I'll go with.

 

[songdavid98]

Don't be rude. A lot of problems can be solved by adding another person. Play with them a little bit, and then introduce that person to a friend or a usual in the club and ask them to play with the newbie. This method can be used by everyone in the club, so that the newbie gets to play with everyone, and no one has to spend too much time with the newbie.

It's a win-win situation. You'll be seen as nice, and the newbie gets to play.

It's pretty obvious to the newbie if you make the common excuses, "I'm waiting for someone. I'm tired. I just ate. I'm going home."

I'm too soft-hearted to immediately reject a newbie.

 

[UpSideDownCarl]

Explaining to someone you want to play with someone your own level is not what you are saying it is. It's at least honest. Using the excuse that you don't consider yourself good, that's just being disingenuous to pretend you are not saying you are better than them and then to complain you don't want to get stuck playing with them because they are worse than you.

There is nothing wrong with being honest and laying things down straight.

You might not consider yourself the level you want to be. But that is a personality issue. Not an actual level issue. If you get above 2000 my guess is you may make the same kind of statement about being 2200. If get to 2200 the number may become 2400. This is all part of that silly scenario about rating: why Americans get accused of being attached to our precious ratings.

It's okay to think you suck, tell people you suck and have a lot to work on and still know when you are WAY HIGHER LEVEL than someone else.

It would be silly to deny that, especially if you are playing with someone 700 points lower than you (7 levels lower than you) that you are not better than them. It would be just as silly to pretend you are only a little better than they are. So, from how you are stating things, if you are so much better than them that you don't want to hit with them any old time, and you have already told them how bad you think you are, then you have already told them how much more Strong Bad they are without even thinking about it.

And you could be 7 levels higher than someone and consider that you are not good at all and the lower level player can still consider himself pretty good. Because good is a relative term and you are judging your level against what your goal for your level is.

But regardless of how you parse the issue, to handle this YOU CAN EITHER LIE, or tell the truth.

I would always go with being honest.

Sent from Deep Space by Abacus

 

[gman4911]

If there's a long line waiting, invoke/implement the "winner stay on the table with a 2 match limit" rule. Eliminates the need to apologize/make excuses for sitting down.

 

[Xylit]

I have not read through all the responses so far but I think this is a common issue for table tennis players. First of all I think it is nice that you play with weaker club members too, unfortunately that is not natural anymore nowadays. When I am stuck in your situation I always try to be honest. Make clear that you like playing with weaker opponents now and then since that is what a club is for. But you have to make progress as well. Sounds a bit harsh but it is not and 99% will understand it. There is always one guy bitching around, ignore him.

As for your club rules, either you don't begin with playing against weaker opponents, therefore you don't get stuck in that cirlce or you set a fixed amount of time you want to spend playing with them before you switch to better opponents. And then be honest. The last thing is what I do.

 

[dio_hgw]

You must be a good player and a kind one!

Try to find interest in each game. Every player has something special you can work on. When you don't want to play anymore, I think you should be polite but also clear towards them and honest with yourself. Tell them that you want to stop or you want to practice something else or with someone else. I don't know how old are you, I assume you are young and I think it's a good thing not only for table tennis but for our lives in general, to learn to express ourselves politely and clearly.