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I agree with you fully. I'm not a mean spirited person and love sportsmanship, and I believe most people are quite civil. But sometimes it's clear it's part of the opponents game plan to try and ruffle your feathers. Some people lose the civility when they get the competitive mind set, no matter what sport it is, but I've run into perhaps the weirdest people in TT than in any other sport. If it's not part of your game you surely have to block it out, perhaps by forcing yourself to smile every time the opponent tries to get in your head. Show him you don't care, that you actually find it funny.
I agree, it's a part. My point being, if engaging in it endangers your own mental tranquility/focus, well, than that may be a too high price to pay. I too take notice of players trying to heckle me to get me out of it, and I just zone out from that rather then engage in it, for that reason. The tough part of that mental part of the game is not to let it get to you, and one of the little tricks for that is to ignore it completely (block it out) entirely at its earliest onsets.
But that gets harder as you counterstrike, and even harder if you consider a preemptive strike strategy of messing with your opponent by hammering on stuff like serve legality, timeliness of getting ready to serve or receive, and so on. At least for me, that's bound to break my concentration more than my opponent's.