Psychology in moments of frustration in Table Tennis

[Rub]

Has it ever happened to you that you were leading 2-0 in a match and then they came back to win it? It’s happened to me loads of times, and to be honest, it doesn’t feel great losing especially when you’ve got match points in the final game. After those matches, I get angry with myself, and I can’t stop mulling it over in my head. So, could you recommend any resources on psychology to help cheer me up in those moments of frustration? Anything will do – a video, a book or simply some advice.

I’d really appreciate it.

 

[NetProphet]

Has it ever happened to you that you were leading 2-0 in a match and then they came back to win it? It’s happened to me loads of times, and to be honest, it doesn’t feel great losing especially when you’ve got match points in the final game. After those matches, I get angry with myself, and I can’t stop mulling it over in my head. So, could you recommend any resources on psychology to help cheer me up in those moments of frustration? Anything will do – a video, a book or simply some advice.

I’d really appreciate it.

I don't think I've ever lost from 2-0 up but I've lost plenty of matches that I afterwards think I should have won!
The key to self forgiveness for me is to understand why I lost.
Thinking I should have won always does a disservice to me and to the other player.
Realising the mistakes I made, when I made them and hopefully also WHY I made them tells me what to work on and also credits the other player.
Crediting the other player is important because it's really not all your fault that you lost, there was another guy there with the single mission to literally beat you!
If I lose from 2-0 up I'd be assessing what the opponent changed in his game and what he started doing that clearly caused me to struggle.
I'd assess what shots I was missing and ascertain why. Was it bad positioning, poor anticipation, poor technique, errors caused by pressure etc.
Could I have played smarter tactically and how would I approach that same opponent if I had to play them again.
Usually 30 minutes or so of this leaves me in a pretty good place.
Mostly I realise that at 9-9 in the 5th you have to stay relaxed, think straight and be smart tactically.

If you're angry simply because you lost then I feel it's pretty much an attitude problem that stems from not yet understanding what has actually happened in the match.
Best advice is to not be too hard on yourself and to realise that the opponent has a right to win too.

 

[Archosaurus]

A lot of people at lower amateur level give up games or matches because they stop what is working and "change it up" for no reason, especially if they happen to lose a point. Usually if I'm winning a lot, I will stay winning, unless I purposefully mess around, because I keep doing what's working. People aren't able to adapt to it until maybe 5, 6 points. You don't need a huge variation either to make it work after that. The hard part is actually finding what's the thing that works consistently that you can execute consistently.

Mainly talking about USATT 1800 and lower level play, but according to semi-pro and pro players, this should still work to a quite high amateur play level.

 

[Dr Evil]

This happens from time to time to anyone who competes on a regular basis. Losing from 2–0 up feels especially bad because your brain treats it not just as a loss, but as something you already had. That’s the wrong way to think about it. Clearly you were doing a lot right, because you got the lead. But closing a match is its own skill. It can be trained like anything else. A few things that might help:

After the match, give yourself a short window to ask: What changed? Did I become passive? Did they adjust their serve? Did I stop using a pattern that got me ahead? Did I rush on match point? Write down two or three practical lessons. Then stop. Anything beyond that often becomes self-attack, not improvement.

Have a reset routine for pressure points. Before every serve or receive at 9–9, 10–9, deuce, etc., do the same small routine. You might breathe, relax your hand, think about what you’ll try to do, and commit. The goal is not to feel calm. The goal is to act decisively even when nervous.

Remember that comebacks happen because table tennis is momentum-heavy. One serve variation, one receive adjustment, one change in risk level can swing a game fast. So when lost leads happen — and they will — they’re just feedback about what needs strengthening.

It’s not table tennis specific, but the classic and I think still best book on the subject is The Inner Game of Tennis, by Tim Gallwey. Definitely worth a read.

 

[Jslick89]

sports psychology is so weird. i feel like i almost always lose IF i get up 2-0 AND THEN my opponent makes it 2-2.

however, if I'm down 0-2 and even it out 2-2, i feel like i have a real good chance in the 5th.

i know this doesnt solve your problem but i just wanted to let you know i experience this too lol.

 

[kase]

Golf Beneath the Surface (book)

 

[Rub]

If you're angry simply because you lost then I feel it's pretty much an attitude problem that stems from not yet understanding what has actually happened in the match.
Best advice is to not be too hard on yourself and to realise that the opponent has a right to win too.

Thanks @NetProphet . My frustration in those situations isn't just because I lose the match, but because I know I had it won against players who are better than me, and I don't realize what they're changing in their game that's making the match so much harder for me. When they start to catch up to me, I get more nervous and start playing more hastily, losing the calmness I had at the start of the match.
That's why I wanted some advice.

 

[Rub]

One more thing. Imagine I’m leading 8-3. My opponent starts scoring points: 8-4, 8-5, 8-6. I call a timeout, and then it’s 8-7, 8-8. What should I do? Stay calm between points, take a deep breath, change my strategy, or try to surprise him with my serves? Should I have called the timeout earlier, or should I not have called it at all?... Whether I win or lose, I feel like I didn't play well, and I ask myself these questions after these games. I'd also like to hear your thoughts on this.
Thanks!

 

[Takkyu_wa_inochi]

Ive lost many matches from 2-0, and also many matches where i had match points.
I've also won many matches from 0-2. also many matches where i almost came back , from 0-2 to match point, but finally lost.
and also many matches where i had 2-0 lead, opponent came back to match point but i won...

if you have played TT for a long time, then it will all have happened, and create many memories, both good and bad.

And thats why we keep on playing.

 

[Rub]

if you have played TT for a long time, then it will all have happened, and create many memories, both good and bad.

And thats why we keep on playing.

What a great truth. Thanks @Takkyu_wa_inochi !

 

[NextLevel]

One more thing. Imagine I’m leading 8-3. My opponent starts scoring points: 8-4, 8-5, 8-6. I call a timeout, and then it’s 8-7, 8-8. What should I do? Stay calm between points, take a deep breath, change my strategy, or try to surprise him with my serves? Should I have called the timeout earlier, or should I not have called it at all?... Whether I win or lose, I feel like I didn't play well, and I ask myself these questions after these games. I'd also like to hear your thoughts on this.
Thanks!

One of the benefits of the USATT system is that we have a rating system that gives you expectations. But when the match starts, a lot is about the matchup on that day and not about the expectations per se.

I don't know how much you train or play, but you do sound like someone who hasn't played or trained a lot. I could be wrong but this is how you sound.

The problem is that your mindset in a lot of your posts, whether for good or for bad, acts like you are the only one in control of the results of the point. This is not true, no matter how much you want it to be. Your decision is sometimes not as important as your execution, and sometimes you can make the right choice but for some reason or another execute it imperfectly. And you can make a bad decision, execute it well enough that the opponent is surprised and this makes it a good decision for that point, but not one that should really win out long term.

All of which is to say, the most important thing is to commit to your mindset that allows you to play your best table tennis and accept the results. Then just play. You can call a timeout any time you think your brain is on something other than the next point. This is a common reason for using a timeout other than an opponent's streak. For me, I have learned painfully that when a point takes your mind off the next point, you need to find a way to regain focus, with or without a timeout.

No matter how well you play, the opponent always has a right to play better. So the focus should not be on the result of the point, but whether you executed what you wanted to do as best as you can reasonably expect. And a lot of that comes down to training and comfort with your capabilities.

 

[NetProphet]

Thanks @NetProphet . My frustration in those situations isn't just because I lose the match, but because I know I had it won

This is part of the problem.
You never had it won, you just had a good start.

I don't realize what they're changing in their game that's making the match so much harder for me.

That's absolutely normal as we learn the game. It's difficult (sometimes not possible at all) to analyse things as they happen. So you identify it as something to work on. The mental side of the game has many facets to it, it's not just about mental strength or physiological control as you attempt to remain calm, there is a myriad of tactics to be considered as well.

When they start to catch up to me, I get more nervous and start playing more hastily, losing the calmness I had at the start of the match.

You'll get different advice here.
For me it's about remembering to try and enjoy it and saying to myself, I'm not getting nervous, let him get nervous.
If you are thinking ''oh no, I was 2-0 up and now it's 2-2 and I might lose", then you're probably going to lose.
Better to think."OK, 2-2 and 7-7. This is why I train, I'm gonna smile now, enjoy it, get this done and smile after".
Then actually smile and concentrate and stop worrying.
Basically if you're worrying it's because you've already lost control of your mind. You should be zoned in on the match and what you need to do. If you focus on the right things then you have no mental capacity for worry.
It's not easy but you have to start somewhere and it can be trained and learned as you continue your training on your technique.

 

[NetProphet]

One more thing. Imagine I’m leading 8-3. My opponent starts scoring points: 8-4, 8-5, 8-6. I call a timeout, and then it’s 8-7, 8-8. What should I do? Stay calm between points, take a deep breath, change my strategy, or try to surprise him with my serves? Should I have called the timeout earlier, or should I not have called it at all?... Whether I win or lose, I feel like I didn't play well, and I ask myself these questions after these games. I'd also like to hear your thoughts on this.
Thanks!

It's not about simply changing strategy, as in, it's not changing for the sake of it. It's choosing a strategy that you believe gives you the best chance, if that meNs a change a a timeout then ok.
But you then have to execute the strategy. How well do you execute it probably matters most. You can choose the correct strategy and lose with poor execution.
But imo the timeout was definitely a good call.
Be honest with yourself afterwards, if you didn't play well then try to figure out why. Was it the opponent? What did they do? Did they exploit a weakness? What weakness was that?
Did you stiffen up? Were you tired? Did your accuracy let you down? Were you hitting without thinking (no tactical placement) when you should have been hitting their middle or a wide angle?
Were you too defensive/passive?
Could you have attacked first more often?
There is so much to consider and match play is a real skill.
I still lose matches to guys that I would regularly out rally in training.

What's good is that you are asking these questions because this will all help in your improvement as you figure this stuff out and then compile good pictures from every match that will allow you to learn more quickly.

 

[kase]

Thanks @NetProphet . My frustration in those situations isn't just because I lose the match, but because I know I had it won against players who are better than me, and I don't realize what they're changing in their game that's making the match so much harder for me. When they start to catch up to me, I get more nervous and start playing more hastily, losing the calmness I had at the start of the match.
That's why I wanted some advice.

People react differently to these situations. Some people rush and try to go for too much, and some people try less and wait for the opponent to make a mistake. This is all about regulating your arousal. In your case, at that point in time, you needed to reduce your arousal level.

But it's not a trick you can just pull, you need to train it and be prepared. It starts with practicing mindfulness, so that you can be aware of your thoughts and self-talk. You can then use various techniques to reign in your thoughts. You can then identify whether you need to increase or decrease arousal, and what type of self-talk can help you achieve this. The type of self-talk is vital - you don't want to psych yourself up and increase arousal when you need the opposite.

Basically you need to engage in learning, work and preparation before you can really fix the issue, so take a look at the book I mentioned earlier. It's not a quick fix, it thoroughly addresses the issues, prepares you and sets you on the path to improvement.

PS: I remember when I first started TT 15 or 20 years ago, we did a best-of-41 points thing every week. I was playing someone and was up about 20 to 12 or something like that. I ended up losing 21 - 20. That still sits firmly in my memory - one game out of thousands that I've played. I remember the thoughts, the worry, the anxiety, the disappointment. So I understand completely, how you feel.

I rarely ever choke like that now, thanks to the work I've put in to address my issues. Recently I was playing a social game, late at night, where I was tired and lost focus. Before you knew it, I was down 9 - 2. Luckily, I realised what was happening just in time - my mind was wandering and was not focused. In this case, my arousal level had decreased, so I needed to increase it. I made the conscious effort to regain my focus, hype myself up and take it more seriously - even though it was just a social game. I won that game 11 - 9. Some luck was also involved But without mental training and awareness, luck wouldn't have been enough to save that game.

 

[banbekas]

Mine is the opposite. I usually fall behind 0–1 or 0–2 before making a comeback. What’s on my mind when I’m trailing? Nothing. I’m just enjoying it.

I’m used to giving a 5- or 6-point handicap in training. Usually we put a bit of money on it, around $6–10, and the winner takes it. Doesn't sound a lot but when you live in a country where the minimum daily wage is $10, you can imagine the consequences. Good way to train your nerves though, lol.

Back to the point, my logic is simple: losing the first set is fine as long as I get a general idea of my opponent’s serve and tendencies. The second set is usually close since I’m trying to neutralize the game, and after that, it becomes easier.

Of course, it doesn’t always work.