Just on the subject of sanding the wings yourself you can usually safely sand the wings yourself without damaging or changing the blade too much, so long as you don't take off huge amounts, or sand them hugely asymmetrically. Small changes in wing shape won't affect the blade too much at all, but take it too far and you can sometimes have problems.
Wing width and length differs between brands, and also (occasionally) between different models from the same brand, largely because wing geometry affects both stiffness / flex as well as control.
Bigger / wider / longer wings tend to provide better control than smaller / shorter / narrower ones thanks to their extra triangulation they provide. The trade-off being, bigger wings feel very unwieldy in your hand, and typically make the blade a lot stiffer (as a general rule of thumb, the bigger and wider the wings are, the less that blade will flex, and vice versa).
My general advice on sanding the wings is, once you've found a blade you really love that gives you the right spin, speed, flex and control for your game, it's best to limit any sanding to just rounding the sharp edges a bit, and only if you really have to. Sand the wings too much more and you might risk affecting it's playing characteristics.
If it's just a cheapie all-wood blade however, or one that just isn't doing it for you, then feel free to go nuts and sand it as much as you need to. Best to do so a little at a time and in stages, so you can monitor the degree of any changes in playing feel as they occur. So long as your sanding & resulting wing shapes are reasonably symmetrical, you shouldn't get into too much trouble.
Hope this helps 🙂 Good luck with it