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I really do feel your pain as I had to stop playing matches because of my poor mental health and not being able to cope with all the pressures of match play ! . Now since I've been coaching my girlfriend for the last 3 years I'm not taking my table tennis so seriously,but that doesn't mean I'm not enjoying it, I'm even considering trying to play in the league again as now my girlfriend has started in the league I'm missing that buzz of being challenged. What I'm trying to say is there's enough things to worry about while playing table tennis, without worrying about your equipment as well. Remember try not to be to hard on yourself as it really doesn't help your confidence!!!Fair enough… but the problem is when the fun turns to anxiety…. Particularly if you have an off night or a bad match and you’re looking for a scapegoat.