Ok, using wrist in strokes is my favorite topic. Why? Because I have struggled to use it in my stroke, got some great results but injured myself in the process. Again recovered again tried it and now I finally understood the mantra - Keep it simple.
So, at my amateur level, - I keep my wrist relaxed but not floppy. On my backhand, when I use the wrist over the table, I try to be relaxed and fluid. When I am playing mid-distance I let me forearm initiate the stroke and then let the momentum snap the wrist. But keep in consideration that I am not trying to snap the wrist it happens due to momentum but again the wrist is relaxed and not floppy.
A good way to learn this and not fall into the trap is to learn the backhand with forearm initiation only keep the wrist relaxed and curled slightly. Check pech pong video on this topic. He explains it very nicely and also explains what happens when you try to overdo it. We often think of the wrist as a holy grail. But this is not completely true. It adds more quality to the ball but if you don't use it still you get a decent drive. So get that first, be patient and then slowly be more relaxed on the stroke just focusing on the timing. The backhand window for the right stroke is very small and before focusing on the wrist if you focus solely on the timing of the contact you will get much better results.
On my forehand, I keep the wrist relaxed but I try to put both spin and speed on the ball and for that, your wrist should not move or move very subtle. I can achieve this by my forearm snap and body rotation. For me, the biggest challenge is to somehow avoid tension and not getting my shoulder engaged too much in the shot. It is very simple to understanding but not easy to implement. Needs a lot of practice and ability to motivate yourself with small gains whereas taking losses in stride and being a part of the learning process.
I can't help but share one small story here - one of my friend is around 2400 USATT. I asked him once on the key difference between me (around 1500 USATT at that time) and him. He said, for him, he seem to have so much time that the moment of contact seems to freeze or go really slow and there are number of factors contributing to this, the most important one being recovery and the moving in position with right anticipation. For me, at that time I heard what he said but didn't listen it attentively. If you understand what I mean. It takes lot of deliberation and time and to keep repeating it in your head again and again. Hopefully it clicks someday.
I find this way of offensive style which I described above, very controlled and offers me better results. Hope this helps you too.
