Is Ai Fukuhara a Villain?

[Tony's Table Tennis]

Can you fill me in? I had read a while back that Fukuhara Ai was being emotionally abused and taken advantage of by Chiang's family. If that really was true, then I can understand her wanting to divorce and re-marry and everything.

But from watching Chiang's treatment of the kids, of Ai's mother... it really doesn't seem like he is the abusive type.

Yes, something like that was leaked from Japan to explain how tough of a time Ai had when she lived in Taiwan.
Ai didn't acknowledge or deny this claim.
That surfaced way before the divorce, but after the affair and was pointing out that Ai suffered in Taiwan and wanted to go back to Japan (she left both kids behind then though)

We don't know if this is true, as that rumor died down very quickly and I think that was the last of it.

If things were bad and hostile, and if I was Ai, I would of gotten my mom out of Chiang's home too.
If she was unfit to travel, I would of hired a full time nurse to look after her and put her in a hotel.
Many things doesn't add up as Ai is pretty wealthy and her media team could really protray her as the victim and make her image so much better.

That is why I say on mytt, everything looks like a soap tv series. It feels so scripted

 

[TensorBackhand]

Yes, something like that was leaked from Japan to explain how tough of a time Ai had when she lived in Taiwan.
Ai didn't acknowledge or deny this claim.
That surfaced way before the divorce, but after the affair and was pointing out that Ai suffered in Taiwan and wanted to go back to Japan (she left both kids behind then though)

We don't know if this is true, as that rumor died down very quickly and I think that was the last of it.

If things were bad and hostile, and if I was Ai, I would of gotten my mom out of Chiang's home too.
If she was unfit to travel, I would of hired a full time nurse to look after her and put her in a hotel.
Many things doesn't add up as Ai is pretty wealthy and her media team could really protray her as the victim and make her image so much better.

That is why I say on mytt, everything looks like a soap tv series. It feels so scripted

Ok yeah, the whole abusive rumor doesn't really add up.

If Chiang's family was so abusive, why would Ai's own mother stay with their family until now?

 

[JJ Ng]

I don't know. Until you walk in someone's shoes, I am not sure anyone on here is qualified to judge. She might be wrong. But the only person who had that kid inside of them for 9 months is Ai. And no matter what you say, none of us really know the whole story.

Whether anyone is wrong in this scenario, I would be willing to put money on it, Ai feels she has some reason for what she did. And if nobody knows what her side of the story is, there is a problem with judging.

I doubt anyone is right and the real losers in this whole thing will be the kids.

Your innocent comment got immediately responses from @turbozed, @TensorBackhand and myself. Trust me. Ai is wrong here. The law is the law. And the law is there to keep people in check and not to do stupid things. People cannot just break law wantonly. Yes, what Ai has done would have landed her in jail in America. She is lucky that she is Japan where the legal system is weak in regards to even simple custody issues.

 

[turbozed]

If I understand Tony's story correctly, the Japanese court said she kidnapped her child.

In a divorce situation, generally there is physical custody agreement. Court, upon divorce, renders a judgement, by the judge and signed by the judge, regarding these physical custody agreements. For example, the kids get to spend time with the dad every other weekend. The rest of the time, the kids spend time with the mom. Any party NOT giving the kids back, in direct conflict against the court order is kidnapping the kids, by definition.

In most physical custody agreement there is also a clause saying, kids get to spend Thanksgiving with mom and Christmas with dad.

There is also a clause about if one party wants to bring the kids out of the state, the other party has to give agreement to it.

Yes, it is that detailed. Yes it is that serious. Nobody should try to tempt the court and perform anything outside of what the physical custody agreement says. Just ask a divorce lawyer and he or she will charge you $500 to $600 an hour to explain it to you.

Having worked on these sorts of agreements, you are correct that it gets very detailed like that.

It's a very stressful and emotional business for everyone involved, and I'm glad I only had to handle a few of these family law cases. These can take years to fully resolve, and a lot of mud is slung from both sides during this time. It can get really ugly. Both sides after an agreement is reached know exactly what they need to do, and adhering to the agreement provides some sense of normalcy and predictability for the parents and the children. So Fukuhara taking the child to a different country and going into hiding is a very, very serious offense. If she was my client, I'd probably ask the court to be released from my duty to represent her.

I don't think some of you understand just how selfish and damaging this sort of behavior is to all parties involved, especially the child.

 

[JJ Ng]

Yes, something like that was leaked from Japan to explain how tough of a time Ai had when she lived in Taiwan.
Ai didn't acknowledge or deny this claim.
That surfaced way before the divorce, but after the affair and was pointing out that Ai suffered in Taiwan and wanted to go back to Japan (she left both kids behind then though)

We don't know if this is true, as that rumor died down very quickly and I think that was the last of it.

If things were bad and hostile, and if I was Ai, I would of gotten my mom out of Chiang's home too.
If she was unfit to travel, I would of hired a full time nurse to look after her and put her in a hotel.
Many things doesn't add up as Ai is pretty wealthy and her media team could really protray her as the victim and make her image so much better.

That is why I say on mytt, everything looks like a soap tv series. It feels so scripted

In my profession (and I am not a lawyer), I can tell that some people (regardless of genders) are born to be parents. Some people, well, let us just say they are not talented in that area. But that's ok. People can learn.

It is like some people are born to sing and entertain (I am talking about you, Justin Bieber). Other people are born to be engineers (people who are dylexic in math should NOT become engineers; they will design a bridge that will literally collapse).

So we are all talented in different ways. But we all should be humble enough to ask for help if we have certain deficits....

 

[Tony's Table Tennis]

Ok yeah, the whole abusive rumor doesn't really add up.

If Chiang's family was so abusive, why would Ai's own mother stay with their family until now?

Ai's mom went back to Japan quite a long time already
I don't have the time to go and check the time stamp
since the affair, to her mom going back, she was in Taiwan for "many months".

The divorce was around July 2021 if I recall
the missing son was this time last year

you can google photos of the send off, and can a return date to work out how long mama Ai was in Chiang's home for

I think maybe Covid had a part to play too in that long stay

 

[UpSideDownCarl]

I don't think some of you understand just how selfish and damaging this sort of behavior is to all parties involved, especially the child.

This statement I would agree with. But, since none of us have had a child inside of us for 9 months, it is hard to really see things from Ai's perspective and without trying to understand why she did what she did, the rest of the conversation seems to be one eye blind.

 

[Tony's Table Tennis]

This statement I would agree with. But, since none of us have had a child inside of us for 9 months, it is hard to really see things from Ai's perspective and without trying to understand why she did what she did, the rest of the conversation seems to be one eye blind.

True
And what makes it worse, its 2 years now and Ai hasn't said a single word about "her story"

 

[Takkyu_wa_inochi]

Of course Ai thinks she is the victim. First she is the mother. Second, had Chiang and she lived in Japan she would have won the sole custody.

But they lived in Taiwan and the Taiwanese law is the applicable law. That’s basically what the Japanese court convened else Fukuhara would have had both children.

——

And as a fellow man I’m siding with the father of course in this story

There are many sad stories of divorce and sole custody in Japan notably in international marriages but not only.
The public opinion is shifting a bit here, I’ve even seen a couple mainstream programs explaining the issue in detail (instead of hiding it) but the law is not changing anytime soon

 

[UpSideDownCarl]

True
And what makes it worse, its 2 years now and Ai hasn't said a single word about "her story"

Yeah. There is a point here. But have you ever felt, in anything that, no matter what you say, it won't help and the odds are just against you?

There may be a reason for that. It is hard to say what it is. But I am also not so sure it is any of our businesses.

All I can say is, I feel bad for the kids and hope they turn out okay. But we really can't know the inside story on something when nobody knows what that inside story is.

 

[UpSideDownCarl]

Of course Ai thinks she is the victim.

That is the first thing that people need to understand. Sometimes when that is the case people do things that we might not be able to understand.

First she is the mother. Second, had Chiang and she lived in Japan she would have won the sole custody.

But they lived in Taiwan and the Taiwanese law is the applicable law. That’s basically what the Japanese court convened else Fukuhara would have had both children.

——

And as a fellow man I’m siding with the father of course in this story

Personally, if I was going to side with anyone it would be the kids and what is best for the kids.

But, most likely, both the father and the mother feel they have been wronged and that can lead to a lot more things that are wrong getting slung around.

I just highly doubt things are as cut and dry as everyone on the forum seems to think they are.

But in the end, all of this will mean the kids will be the losers, and nobody will be the winners.

 

[turbozed]

That is the first thing that people need to understand. Sometimes when that is the case people do things that we might not be able to understand.



Personally, if I was going to side with anyone it would be the kids and what is best for the kids.

But, most likely, both the father and the mother feel they have been wronged and that can lead to a lot more things that are wrong getting slung around.

I just highly doubt things are as cut and dry as everyone on the forum seems to think they are.

But in the end, all of this will mean the kids will be the losers, and nobody will be the winners.

From a legal perspective it's pretty clear cut.

There have been at least 5 people involved (the parents, the lawyers, and a judge) in a legal process likely taking many years and tens if not hundreds of thousands of dollars in order to determine what's best for the kid.

Like I said, the courts aren't perfect, but following a Court's lawful orders is generally a whole helluvalot better for a child's welfare than playing a game of international kidnapping tug-of-war.

Even if we can't agree on Fukuharu's specific case, I think we can all agree that parents in principle should follow the law and not unilaterally abscond with children, depriving them of contact with family and friends.

 

[UpSideDownCarl]

From a legal perspective it's pretty clear cut.

There have been at least 5 people involved (the parents, the lawyers, and a judge) in a legal process likely taking many years and tens if not hundreds of thousands of dollars in order to determine what's best for the kid.

Like I said, the courts aren't perfect, but following a Court's lawful orders is generally a whole helluvalot better for a child's welfare than playing a game of international kidnapping tug-of-war.

Even if we can't agree on Fukuharu's specific case, I think we can all agree that parents in principle should follow the law and not unilaterally abscond with children, depriving them of contact with family and friends.

And what I am trying to do is see if I can get some people to at least try to see things from what might be Ai's perspective rather than seeing things as black and white and seeing her as purely "A VILLAIN" as the title of the thread reads as if she took her kid for some weird reason rather than that she wanted her kid.

And people may as well realize, she may have wanted to take both kids but something prevented that.

I don't think some of you understand just how selfish and damaging this sort of behavior is to all parties involved, especially the child.

I do think this is important. And it is true, doing something like this is going to mess both of her kids up for life. But it is worth trying to understand that she probably felt desperate and as though she had no choice.

After a kid is born, it is common for mothers to have separation anxiety; the first time they are away from their kid can be terrifying; separation anxiety can still occur long after a kid is born and could come up any time the mom is away from the kid. New mothers also often have things like postpartum depressions. Their whole body changes in so many ways for that revolve around caring for that child. The hormonal changes are also worth noting. These are things that have not happened to anyone who is taking part in this discussion.

You can't really just sum this up as numbers and laws and rationality. All we can do is try and understand what happened. Rather than just judging her from something we just don't understand.

 

[TensorBackhand]

And what I am trying to do is see if I can get some people to at least try to see things from what might be Ai's perspective rather than seeing things as black and white and seeing her as purely "A VILLAIN" as the title of the thread reads.

lol. Well ERT's video seems to make her seem like the big villain.

So I just asked that to see if it's really true or not. So far it seems more likely to be true than not true. I still just can't understand why Ai would completely cut herself off from her own daughter.

 

[ttmonster]

lol. Well ERT's video seems to make her seem like the big villain.

So I just asked that to see if it's really true or not. So far it seems more likely to be true than not true. I still just can't understand why Ai would completely cut herself off from her own daughter.

if your understanding of the world is shaped by a bunch of keyboard warriors reacting to ERT’s video … the less said the better… It’s probably good to have these kind of threads … helps identify and recognize the talented legal and moral experts we have in our midst that seldom get the acknowledgement they surely deserve … bravo guys !

 

[UpSideDownCarl]

lol. Well ERT's video seems to make her seem like the big villain.

So I just asked that to see if it's really true or not. So far it seems more likely to be true than not true. I still just can't understand why Ai would completely cut herself off from her own daughter.

I have money on it that that was not her intention; does anyone know if she tried to take both kids? Or if she specifically did not care about the daughter as some have suggested? I also have a feeling you still just are not even coming close to understanding the complexity of what Ai might be going through despite mistakes she may have made.

 

[TensorBackhand]

I have money on it that that was not her intention and that you still just are not even coming close to the complexity of what she might be going through.

Well that's why I want to hear her side of the story. Was she being abused, and is that why she wanted to flee with the kids to Japan? Was Chiang such a terrible father that the father deserves to be completely cutoff from the son?

This case is a lot more familiar to me than you might think. I lived in Japan for 10 years, 3 of my kids were born in Japan, and our home language is Japanese. I've seen this type of behavior from Japanese mothers all the time. They want to make the child 'only' like the mother and cutoff the father. They even go out of their way to make sure the child can't speak the father's language, so after a few short years, they have no means of communication.

I have a Japanese family friend right now who is going through the courts fighting for custody of her kids. Honestly she reminds me of Ai. She is very flirtatious, and she had kids with this man when he was still married. I asked her why. She said she thought that by forcing him to have kids, he would leave his wife to marry her and provide for her. Now she attends a weekend church every week, she openly states that she chose that church because they have a lot of rich men and she hopes to nag one to take care of her and her kids.

I have another Japanese female friend who just last week said she is contemplating getting a divorce lawyer. I didn't push her too hard on it, but I wonder what she thinks would become of her daughter. she has no money, no job, she's just a housewife. The father works, pays mortgage, etc. I think she just assumes that she deserves to take the kid with her.

I've seen this over and over and over again.

 

[UpSideDownCarl]

Well that's why I want to hear her side of the story. Was she being abused, and is that why she wanted to flee with the kids to Japan? Was Chiang such a terrible father that the father deserves to be completely cutoff from the son?

This case is a lot more familiar to me than you might think. I lived in Japan for 10 years, 3 of my kids were born in Japan, and our home language is Japanese. I've seen this type of behavior from Japanese mothers all the time. They want to make the child 'only' like the mother and cutoff the father. They even go out of their way to make sure the child can't speak the father's language, so after a few short years, they have no means of communication.

I have a Japanese family friend right now who is going through the courts fighting for custody of her kids. Honestly she reminds me of Ai. She is very flirtatious, and she had kids with this man when he was still married. I asked her why. She said she thought that by forcing him to have kids, he would leave his wife to marry her and provide for her. Now she attends a weekend church every week, she openly states that she chose that church because they have a lot of rich men and she hopes to nag one to take care of her and her kids.

I have another Japanese female friend who just last week said she is contemplating getting a divorce lawyer. I didn't push her too hard on it, but I wonder what she thinks would become of her daughter. she has no money, no job, she's just a housewife. The father works, pays mortgage, etc. I think she just assumes that she deserves to take the kid with her.

I've seen this over and over and over again.

Life is always more complicated than words make it seem. I had a wife (no longer living). I have a child. The complexities of any relationship are vast and trying to put them into words is just not possible.

The ideas presented above are so one dimensional it is hard to wrap my mind around the giant gaps in understanding about human beings that is presented above. If you can't put yourself in someone else's position and try to understand things from that perspective, it is hard for this to actually be a serious conversation.

 

[TensorBackhand]

Life is always more complicated than words make it seem. I had a wife (no longer living). I have a child. The complexities of any relationship are vast and trying to put them into words is just not possible.

The ideas presented above are so one dimensional it is hard to wrap my mind around the giant gaps in understanding about human beings that is presented above. If you can't put yourself in someone else's position and try to understand things from that perspective, it is hard for this to actually be a serious conversation.

Well I'm all ears. What's the complex reason the father doesn't deserve to see his son?

 

[Tony's Table Tennis]

From a legal perspective it's pretty clear cut.

There have been at least 5 people involved (the parents, the lawyers, and a judge) in a legal process likely taking many years and tens if not hundreds of thousands of dollars in order to determine what's best for the kid.

Like I said, the courts aren't perfect, but following a Court's lawful orders is generally a whole helluvalot better for a child's welfare than playing a game of international kidnapping tug-of-war.

Even if we can't agree on Fukuharu's specific case, I think we can all agree that parents in principle should follow the law and not unilaterally abscond with children, depriving them of contact with family and friends.

I think Turbozed has summed it all up
Ai needs to act with what the Japanese courts says.
If she doesn't agree, she needs to fight it in a higher court.

In the latest news article, it claims that Ai's legal team said they won't comment as the case is still ongoing in Taiwan (this was an request for comment on Japan's side).

So it doesn't seem that Ai will be doing anything, any time soon.

The biggest question we as table tennis fan is, how did Ai get appointed the GM of WTT Japan, amidst the whole debacle.
Ai, at one time was more in China than she was in Japan, to weather out the storm in Japan. We don't know if the son was with her in China or not. That was a question that Chiang wanted to ask, but didn't get an answer.