New "Rules" for Table Tennis

[Baal]

Now, Mr. Andersson, you can direct them to these Rules so that they can learn The Proper Ways.

 

[Baal]

Rule 86. Your shorts must not extend below your knee but neither under any circumstances are you allowed to roll up your shorts in the manner of Jean-Michel Saive.

 

[mart1nandersson]

Rule 86. Your shorts must not extend below your knee but neither under any circumstances are you allowed to roll up your shorts in the manner of Jean-Michel Saive.

Objection. Cabrera is a style icon.

 

[Baal]

Nej....

 

[Baal]

Rule 87. Glue is to be used to attach your rubber to your blade. It is not allowed to be placed on other parts of the blade in an attempt to change its appearance. More generally, your blade does not require decoration. It is a tool. Nothing more.

 

[brokenball]

Rule 85. You are absolutely not allowed to try to win the points in the warm up. Save it for three minutes later when the match starts. If you fail to grasp this simple concept you are required to take remedial action (watch a video With an example of how elite players approach this) or quit the sport.

This really p!$$e$ me off if I must chase the ball when they miss. I don't mind the loops. It lets me know what they have got. I am a FH counter hitter so no problem. The problem I have with most is that they cannot hit the ball do the same location time after time or choose not to on purpose

Where is the "have fun" rule?

 

[mart1nandersson]

Rule 87. Glue is to be used to attach your rubber to your blade. It is not allowed to be place on other parts of the blade in an attempt to change its appearance. More generally, your blade does not require decoration. It is a tool. Nothing more.

Are glue sheets kosher? I use 4 on my BH.

#worried

 

[Baal]

Mr. Andersson, the truth is there for those who seek it.

 

[UpSideDownCarl]

Rule 87. Glue is to be used to attach your rubber to your blade. It is not allowed to be placed on other parts of the blade in an attempt to change its appearance. More generally, your blade does not require decoration. It is a tool. Nothing more.

hahahahaha.

There are so many rules that are soooooo valuable in here. Now I know where the real rules for table tennis are. Ba'al has spoken.

 

[Baal]

Where is the "have fun" rule?

Please direct your attention to Rules 6 and 14.

 

[Der_Echte]

Once this thread gets to 100 RULES, it will become the...

New World Order

 

[BryanY]

New "Rules" for Table Tennis

Rule #89 - A player may bounce the ball three times before serving. Any more than that and the other player has permission to yell at them to hurry up and serve.

 

[Baal]

Bryan that is excellent and it augurs well for your future enlightenment. As you wrote it, though, the rule was incomplete.

Rule 89. A player is not allowed to bounce the ball more than three times before serving. If a player consistently serves too long or always hits the same serve they are allowed zero bounces, since in that case it is particularly pointless. See also Rule 77.

 

[Baal]

Rule 90. Flash photography in a table tennis venue is absolutely forbidden and warrants immediate ejection. You are required to inform friends and family of this since, since whilst it might seem to be common sense, it apparently is not. Actual players who violate this rule are to be shunned. See also Rule 42.

 

[Baal]

Rule 91. Stop beating yourself.

 

[brokenball]

Rule 91. Stop beating yourself.

My first coach said something like that. Make the opponent beat you. If it looks like the opponent will not beat himself then you are in for a serious game.
Pushblockers want the opponent to beat themselves.

That isn't so much a rule but good advice.

When playing with my practice partners I/we often make a distinction between winning and losing points. Winning points is making good shots and actually winning the point as opposed to the opponent screwing up. We judge the quality of play that session as ratio of points won by each player vs points lost.

 

[Zaid323918]

Rule 92. Don't hit or throw your paddle if you lose a point/game/match. It's your fault and and not your paddle's fault that you lost.

 

[Baal]

Zaid, clearly you are one of the illuminati of table tennis. However, the complete rule is as follows:

Rule 92. You are not allowed to take your frustrations out on your equipment anywhere that people can see you do it. (This is analogous to Rule 40 on shadow practice). This includes your spouse/partner or children or dogs*. However, given sufficient solitude, along with the conviction that this is the correct course of action, you are allowed to burn, atomize or curse blades rubber or balls provided you are in compliance with all local environmental and safety regulations. Keep in mind however, that blades will generally not pass through your toilet into the sewer systems.

* You are allowed to shadow practice in front of your dog, but he/she will still think you are weird.

 

[BryanY]

Rule #93

You may not spray rubber cleaning solution downwind of other players.

 

[Baal]

Bryan, while your knowledge is extensive, I have to remind you that we don't play in the wind. However......