I lost my spark for playing TT

[UpSideDownCarl]

BTW: me personally, I would not want to be dating someone who was a TT player. I personally am not actually very competitive. I like to play for the training much more than for anything else. But, I think, for a lot of people, not everyone, but a lot of people, the competitive thing pops in since TT is a game/sport where you are in direct competition with the person on the other side of the table.

I don't think it has to be like that. But I have seen that it usually is like that for most.

I just don't even want that dynamic as part of an intimate relationship. Even if it is not how you are thinking, it is hard to change how someone else is thinking if they tend to be competitive. And I have seen people, even when not playing a match and just training, be competitive.

 

[UpSideDownCarl]

Seems like you quoted while I added some stuff, so I’ll post it here again.

And it doesn’t have to be tt, what about other things in life, no one’s knows everything, so you’ll have to teach something to your partner eventually, so do you just avoid all such scenarios? Like if you learnt a magic trick, and your girlfriend wants to learn it, you’ll be like “no can do, magician’s code”, or maybe “learn it from that guy, they taught me”, or just change the subject and avoid eye contact? Or let’s say you read a really interesting and informative article, and your girlfriend wants to know what you’ve learned from it, do you say “go read it yourself”?

And I do think teaching your partner things can and have been done well. If you keep the “power dynamic” in mind, maybe that’s why it’s causing problems. It doesn’t have to be like that, and you don’t have to be the one teaching either, if your partner showed you something you don’t know, is that what you think? “Oh no, she taught me stuff, now she has power over me, what should I do? I need to teach her some stuff too, then it’ll be even.”

There is a difference between something where, I show you something and you learn it, and now there is no difference between us: I can cook the broccoli or you can cook the broccoli. I can do the taxes or you can do them....and something where, 3 years from now one person will still be the one with expertise and the other will be the one who is learning.

If the learning is brief, and it is done, and then you are on the same footing, that is not the same as the other scenario.

And I have also clearly said that there are times these kinds of things can be navigated. But, there is a reason there are psychological studies on these kinds of issues.

 

[UpSideDownCarl]

In the end, Duke, you can choose what you want. Just remember, if you are dating someone you coach and play TT matches against, there may come a point where, without understanding exactly why, you are seeing anger or resentment from that person without quite understanding why or what is going on. And it could have been caused by things from the past that you did not realize you did.

 

[DukeGaGa]

There is a difference between something where, I show you something and you learn it, and now there is no difference between us: I can cook the broccoli or you can cook the broccoli. I can do the taxes or you can do them....and something where, 3 years from now one person will still be the one with expertise and the other will be the one who is learning.

If the learning is brief, and it is done, and then you are on the same footing, that is not the same as the other scenario.

And I have also clearly said that there are times these kinds of things can be navigated. But, there is a reason there are psychological studies on these kinds of issues.

So yeah we are saying the same thing, it’s like I said a few posts back, these are all just opinions. Which is what started all this, I said it’s opinions and we can agree to disagree, but someone just have to say their opinion is a fact.

 

[DukeGaGa]

In the end, Duke, you can choose what you want. Just remember, if you are dating someone you coach and play TT matches against, there may come a point where, without understanding exactly why, you are seeing anger or resentment from that person without quite understanding why or what is going on. And it could have been caused by things from the past that you did not realize you did.

Why does coaching tt means you’ll be playing matches? Coaching tt could also mean having some family workout time, because it’s raining outside. It’s just an activity to burn some calories.

 

[UpSideDownCarl]

Why does coaching tt means you’ll be playing matches? Coaching tt could also mean having some family workout time, because it’s raining outside. It’s just an activity to burn some calories.

This depends. It could be.

Have you ever been playing with someone, and, somewhere during the act of playing TT with them, for a moment, or a few moments, you were really angry and upset with the other person as a result of something that happened while playing TT?

If you have had that happen, even if the instant of anger was irrational and had to do with what was going on in your head and not what was going on outside of you, and the anger ended up directed at the person on the other side of the table, then it is worth thinking about. I would not want that to happen for a partner, towards me.

But there is enough documentation about the power dynamic thing that you may want to read up on the subject before deciding if it applies here or not.

 

[DukeGaGa]

This depends. It could be.

Have you ever been playing with someone, and, somewhere during the act of playing TT with them, for a moment, or a few moments, you were really angry and upset with the other person as a result of something that happened while playing TT?

If you have had that happen, even if the instant of anger was irrational and had to do with what was going on in your head and not what was going on outside of you, and the anger ended up directed at the person on the other side of the table, then it is worth thinking about. I would not want that to happen for a partner, towards me.

But there is enough documentation about the power dynamic thing that you may want to read up on the subject before deciding if it applies here or not.

Don’t think it applies here, because when I say teach I mean playing with not playing against, it’s more of a couples activity, just like board game or video games, it’s about having a fun time together. It’s not however trying to make the other reach the same level as you are in a certain way so you can compete. That’s what we differ.

 

[UpSideDownCarl]

Yeah, if it is just having fun bonking a TT ball around or you know, what families do in their garage with a TT table, it could be fine. But would that cause you to go from the title of this thread to being super enthusiastic about the sport?

Would that apply to the suggestion for the OP?

Goofing around hitting TT balls back and forth at a bar is not the same as taking a girl to a TT club and training with her.

And for me, I am not so sure either would cause me to go from losing interest to super enthused about TT.

 

[DukeGaGa]

Yeah, if it is just having fun bonking a TT ball around or you know, what families do in their garage with a TT table, it could be fine. But would that cause you to go from the title of this thread to being super enthusiastic about the sport?

Would that apply to the suggestion for the OP?

My goofing around hitting TT balls back and forth at a bar is not the same as taking a girl to a TT club and training with her.

And for me, I am not so sure either would cause me to go from losing interest to super enthused about TT.

Of course it applies, because you are the one enthused, not her. And I did not say get her enthused and competitive, I said teach her how to play, there’s a difference.

 

[UpSideDownCarl]

Of course it applies, because you are the one enthused, not her. And I did not say get her enthused and competitive, I said teach her how to play, there’s a difference.

Well, everyone is different. But it would not work either way for me.

 

[DukeGaGa]

Well, everyone is different. But it would not work either way for me.

Exactly, every one is different, thus every one have their own opinions.

 

[Der_Echte]

Or teach gf how to play TT

I agree with NL... unless you are very patient and capable, it would only end in catastrophic harm to you.

 

[Der_Echte]

Hey upsidedowncarl,

so it turns out that der_echte and I actually know each other. He's given me some free tips on occasion at my local club, and even kicked my ass with his spinny loops (in sandals, none the less)...

You see me in sandles 90 percent of the time because of knee mcl injury... sandles remove a lot of the stress on my mcl tendons. The other 10 percent I forgot the shoes so I just deal with it best I can.

 

[Der_Echte]

Also, by your metric, I am happy to confirm I have a great coach. You may even know him since it seems like you are fimiliar with many in the northern California table tennis communities). In one year, i've gone up 500 rating points...

You did improve that much in a year and that is good.

You are a very young adult learning player and those will grow well initially.

The next 200 to 300 points will be easy as well, but a lot more work and time.

When you get to a 1700 to 1800 Cali level, then may hit a wall, many walls and improving will be very difficult, unless your coach can really show you what and how to do for that level and beyond. Arishei Lim was like that until he started with coach Avi... he had great looking strokes, but could not compete vs the 1800 plus crowd...after a year he was at my level or close.

There are some exceptions like Steven Tse, who was prolly 1400 Cali level in 2017 and he trained his fh and blocking so much that it got him to Cali 1900 by 2021and he did not get professional coaching he was prolly late 30s at the time.

 

[Der_Echte]

JSlick,

Yes, it would be good that you get another couple years to get more fundamentally sound, but you would need to really be aware of what makes things happen biomechanically, how spin and path work, footwork, opponent stance shots, tactical adjustments and a ton more.

You would have some success with the under 40 adults who are 400 to 800 level. They would respond to what you could show in a reasonable timeframe.

The 40 to 70 yr old crowd who has been 700 to 1500 forever will be a huge challenge and if you fail to raise their level you will ruin your reputation as a capable coach before your coaching career begins. It is a huge risk.

I took that risk with ldm7... I know the risks and I know what I can do. I saw ldm7 was willing to work, so I know it would work.

The older dude crowd who has been at their level for years and decades is a tough crowd... they want to improve, but either do not want to commit the time work and failure into it or do not want to spend money.

 

[z0uLess]

try doing things differently, surround yourself with motivated people with different perspectives, take a break and try again later

 

[Der_Echte]

But it is your opinion. Unless you can prove it scientifically that someone teaching their gf table tennis is bad, it is just your opinion.

Duke, do you have any experience teaching ur gf or wife how to drive a car with a manual shift transmission?

The data on this is overwhelming. You may be one of the few to beat the very small percentage odds, but who knows?

 

[Der_Echte]

@Jslick89

There ARE a couple Cali 1500 level players out there who I have heard did some or several lessons with some local players.

I have little faith that either of these 2 would be able to develop a player based on what I see of them playing and their poor decisions, and limited understanding of the sport.

 

[Der_Echte]

Also, there is a former 2100 player who coaches, I say former as this was his level a few decades ago, he coaches a couple players you know... one went from 1400 to club 1900 level in jz system... one went from 2000 plus to 1700ish over the last decade. Both play 3x a week.

Sometimes it IS the player... some people are simply stubborn. (They try and fail to reach my level of stubborn though - no one reaches that level)

Even in the situation where it is truly the player holding his progress, there often was a failure of leadership or responsibility of the coach... unless they were clear and explicit about some or a lot of stuff.

 

[Der_Echte]

One of the 1500 level "coach" in jz club plays league about every damn time for decades, but never get appreciably better. He plays on non league days with the same 3 to 4 players his level, keeps doing the same ineffective stuff he is not skilled at... and does not improve...

... but that is his right as a free American - the right to choose.

He choose a way he is no good at, but obviously enjoys... he keeps doing it, so more power to him, but if I was an informed and observant player who wanted coaching, WHY would I learn from him?

Then again, how many who want coaching know the deal about everyone?