Well I'm all ears. What's the complex reason the father doesn't deserve to see his son?
I think this goes to the heart of the issue you guys are all having. I am a father. I agree that both parents have rights. But if you are thinking she is doing this to keep the kids away from the father:
a) That might not be why she is doing what she is doing.
b) If she is doing this because she is trying to keep the kid away from the father, did something happen (real or imagined) that caused her to be afraid of having the kid left alone with the father?
Look, have you ever had an uncontrollable urge of any kind? Like, maybe you have eaten a full meal and you know you are not hungry but you still have something in you that says: "I need to eat that ice cream" or "that cookie".....Or you tried someone else's TT equipment and thought: "wow, that really feels good to me, I don't like my setup anywhere near as much" and then, for days or weeks you keep thinking about that blade or rubbers or both until you break down and buy it? Or any other kind of uncontrollable urge that made it so it was hard for you to think until you fulfilled that urge? After it is filled, after you eat the ice cream or buy the Super ALC Viscaria, you might realize, well, I didn't really need it. But until you get it, it invades your brain and it is hard to think about other things. Anything like that ever happen to you?
Okay so, when a women is pregnant, for 9 months, the child is living and growing inside her. The child is actually part of her. And every aspect of her life is completely changed by the child living and growing inside her. Her whole body chemistry changes. This child is ACTUALLY PART OF HER.
After the child is born a whole new set of hormones kick in and her body starts doing new strange things like producing milk to feed the baby. If the child is primarily fed breast milk from the mother for the first 6 months of the kids life, almost every single Atom and Molecule in the child's body would have gone into the child via the mother.
I am not sure you guys appreciate how much of a physical, visceral or emotional bond that creates between the mother and the child.
Men don't experience separation anxiety. I don't know what it feels like but I remember seeing it in my wife and it was not exactly pretty. Now, different women have different responses and different degrees of response to the bond between them and their child after birth. But for some women the child feels like it is really, in some way, a part of them.
Imagine you could take off your arm. But it was your arm and you could put it back on and take it off. And it was living. And it was your arm. Now imagine some court said you have to leave your arm with some guy who (whether real or imagined) had a few moments where he scared the hell out of you for one reason or another (with all those hormones raging through a women's body after childbirth this is actually a frequent occurrence that something that should not have scared them and send them into an emotional tailspin does). And now, this court has told you that you have to leave your arm with this person who you are scared of......
Is that possible? Also, did she really intend to leave one kid and only take the other? Or did she try to take both and simply ran away with the only one she could get out of there with?
We really don't know. And it is possible that she just wants to make sure that the husband does not get to see or spend any time with the kid. But somehow I doubt that is the case.
The father does have rights. I am not saying anyone is right in this situation. But I think you guys are looking at it in such an oversimplified way that you will never understand what is actually going on and that makes it easy to demonize someone without knowing what was actually going on for her.
Is any of what I described above what was going on? Did Ai feel like she was having a deep and emotional part of her taken away from her? I don't know. But I am willing to try and see things from her side. And I have to be honest, it sounds like a predictable response that she does not want to talk about something that for her is very private and has torn her whole life apart.
Is she doing something that is ultimately bad for her, the father of her kids, and most of all her kids? Yes. But I have a feeling that was not what her intention was. And I have a feeling, this had much more to do with internal compulsions and a feeling of desperateness rather than a rational, calculated, malicious act to simply punish the father of her kids and get her way.
Ai did what she did, because like many criminals, she thinks she can get away with it.
Who knows. You might be right. But I have a feeling, what I described above, her feeling like part of her was stolen from her, and then an irrational compulsion, is much more close to what actually went on. Again, what she did will not be good for anyone involved. But if you guys can try to see things how she may have experienced them, you might have a better understanding. Rather than just demonizing her.