That's sad

but let me play devil's advocate here: do they expect adults to be good already, or do they expect adults to be proactive and asking for guidance where they need it?
I'm really not trying to be a d*ck here, but I see this environment here too, where people will just leave you alone until you ask for something. And 9/10 times it's because they expect that if you need something, you're old enough to just ask.
I think maybe you hit a bad coach, or a bad club culture. Or the coach got annoyed about equipment questions because they aren't relevant at this point. And it's made you incredibly insecure about the equipment you're starting with, but you don'y need to be insecure. What you need is not the perfect rubber or blade, what you need is 6-12 months of practice using
anything half decent. It doesn't matter what that is.
You're talking about getting tired on loopkills - but if you're a beginner you honestly don't really have any business doing repetitive loopkills anyway. If you're playing a tournament on that level, there will not be a single point on the entire day where you need the skill to play more than one loopkill in a row. I am not a beginner, and I hardly ever encounter the situation where I need to play two high-powered loops in a row.
The important skills as a beginner and intermediate player, and I dare say even for advanced players, are:
- applying spin to a ball
- reading spin on the ball
- placing that ball where you want it to go
- having your body and feet in the right place to do these things
and that's it.
Smashes are extra
Loopkills are extra
Trickery is extra
Using fast equipment is extra
Even difficult serves are extra.
You can achieve all those things with something cheap like PF4 on that Fextra. But what if you do follow the coach's advice and got a Clipper with the rubbers he thinks would currently fit you well?
One, Clipper is a great blade. If anything, you end up with a good blade that can last you a long time.
Two, it shows the coach you're willing to listen to his teachings. Some coaches need that kind of gesture to see you're committed.
Three, coach has *actually* seen you play where we haven't. He might have a very good point in his suggestions.
Talk to the guy, like really talk. You're both adults, you can explain the situation, even explain that you feel a bit lost but you still would love to learn the game. It's not the end of the world.