New "Rules" for Table Tennis

[Baal]

Rule 94.

You may not pass gas in the vicinity of other players or close to the end of a game just prior to changing sides.

 

[Simas]

Rule 86. ...under any circumstances are you allowed to roll up your shorts in the manner of Jean-Michel Saive.

that's a good rule. When we reach 100, there should be an official statement published to ITTF

 

[Baal]

Rule 95. You are not allowed to retreat to the barriers and "lob for show" on the last point of a lopsided match unless you are are a professional player. See also Rules 2, 7 and 8.

 

[Baal]

96. You are not allowed to bring highly fragrant and particular foods -- e.g. surstromming, choudoufu, or durian fruit -- to the closed confines of a table tennis club.

 

[lasta]

Regarding Rule #1, I propose there to be an amendment added to restrict wiping sweat "on" the table in the first place.

 

[MOG]

Baal, I can not agree with this, passing gas at the change of ends is a highly innovative and technically skilled tactic!! Have you ever tried holding it in whilst doing a turbo nutter forehand loop!!

Rule 94.

You may not pass gas in the vicinity of other players or close to the end of a game just prior to changing sides.

 

[Baal]

Rule 97. You are not allowed to call "ex post facto" lets. You are required to call them immediately at the time of the disturbance, usually a ball from another court. If you keep playing and lose the point, too bad. See Rule 6.

Rule 98. You are not allowed to call let's for other people's points unless you crash through the barriers and land face down in their court. See also Rule 95.

 

[Baal]

Rule 99. Only the Table Tennis gods know what blade FZD actually uses and this knowledge is not comprehensible by the human intellect. In fact it is in a state of quantum indeterminacy, rather like Schrodinger's Cat. Moreover any further discussion of this comes under Rules 51 and 78.

 

[UpSideDownCarl]

Once this thread gets to 100 RULES, it will become the...

New World Order

Der, I am still waiting for the meme for this.

 

[UpSideDownCarl]

Do we have any good rules about the Dunning-Kruger Effect and, in particular ways to mitigate the damage created by some of the table tennis physicists who suffer from it?

 

[Baal]

Rule 51 specifically deals with that.

 

[UpSideDownCarl]

Do we have any good rules about the Dunning-Kruger Effect and, in particular ways to mitigate the damage created by some of the table tennis physicists who suffer from it?

Rule 51 specifically deals with that.

Oh yeah:

51. Deep or contentious discussions of physics in threads on table tennis forums should probably be avoided. Exceptions can be made for players with doctorates in aerospace engineering who have playing levels of 2300 or greater.

Is there something more that can be added specifically for ones under 1200?

 

[Baal]

Rules 32 and 43 also. Together with 51, a Pong High Magistrate would easily INFER a corollary that condemns the Dunning- Kruger effect in TT forums.

 

[Baal]

Rule 100. There is no rule 88. This a mystery to contemplate. The Table Tennis gods do not reveal all. Rather the Truth is there for you to discover. How? You are required to train hard, behave well, have fun, and play for as long as you can. And take heart in Rule 14.

 

[BryanY]

Rule #101

The acceptable amount of break time to wait for a player between games is 5 seconds multiplied by the persons age.

 

[Baal]

Bryan. Please do not tempt the Table Tennis gods. Obviously there can be only 100 rules. In this case Rule 6 applies. Sit down or play but make up your mind..

 

[BryanY]

New "Rules" for Table Tennis

Bryan. Please do not tempt the Table Tennis gods. Obviously there can be only 100 rules. In this case see Rule 6.

But Rule 100 subtracts a rule. Therefore there are still a total of 100 rules. [emoji12][emoji817]

 

[Baal]

You must meditate on this. One hand clapping etc. Better yet go work on your footwork or your short game.

 

[UpSideDownCarl]

Rules 32 and 43 also. Together with 51, a Pong High Magistrate would easily INFER a corollary that condemns the Dunning- Kruger effect in TT forums.

And yet it seems so prevalent.

 

[Baal]

Carl these and other transgressions are why Ba'al has spoken. Finally.

How many times must we find a table covered with someone else's sweat? How many times should we forced to behold 58 year old Mr Jones wearing a Donic shirt with his name on tbe back, Butterfly shorts, and black compression socks reaching his knees, pushing every ball, losing track of tbe score and complaining here about his opponent's serves? Mr. Jones simply needs guidance.

Must we have yet another thread on Tenergy 05 alternatives and problems with TTNPP not answering emails? Not to mention flame wars on the Coefficient of Restitution, to bring back some particularly vivid nightmares about People Being Wrong on the Internet..

No!!! These things are not pleasing to anyone.

Rules were needed.100 of them. Minus 1.

The New World Order has begun.

And with that it is quite possible that I have nothing left to say about Table Tennis.