Braithey, you have made a few points that are decently valid for your scenario. The first one is that if you go to a tournament and lose, it can be frustrating. If you are going to tournaments to win, this will often be the case, especially if you end up playing against players who are higher rated than you. But losing does not have too much to do with what is on the other player's racket or their choice of style. Now, if you lose to a smooth player and are not frustrated, and then you lose to a pips player and are frustrated, it really just means that you do need to learn how to play better against pips players.
So, it may not be worth it to you to travel and pay to play in tournaments.
And having priorities that come long before Table Tennis is definitely valid.
But, in addressing the issue of pips players and getting frustrated when playing them, it is probably that you don't have enough experience playing them. Is it worth figuring out how to get that experience? I am not sure. But, if you like the game and want to improve, then it definitely is.
The first thing that you should know is, even if you don't see and understand it, it takes skill and technique to use a pips or antitspin setup. When a pips player makes one ball dead, and the next ball heavy backspin, they have done something with their racket that you may have missed.
Here are some examples of things that could go wrong. You are trying to rip a ball that looks like mild backspin and it is actually dead and the ball flies long. You are trying to loop backspin and it turns out to be topspin and the ball jumps off your racket and flies way long. You are trying to attack topspin and it turns out to be dead or backspin and your ball goes into the net. You think the backspin is heavy and it turns out to be light and you hit the ball long. You think the backspin is light and it turns out to be heavy and you hit the ball into the net. You think it is backspin and it turns out to be topspin and you are just nowhere near the table as the ball flies up.
Any of those things have to with not paying attention to a few specific details. When playing someone who is using a defensive setup with pips or antispin, the first thing is, you have to know what rubber is on each side of his racket. That means you actually have to walk up and ask him if you can look at his racket and examine both rubbers. Look at the rubber, feel the rubber, look at the name of the rubber and the amount of sponge on each. Which was the black rubber, which the red. Then while playing you have to know what spin you put on the ball. Which color rubber the pips player used to contact the ball. You have to watch how the player contacts the ball: did he contact the ball directly or brush, did he contact hard or soft, how fast was the bat moving, how much sound did the racket make on contact, a lot or almost none. And you have to watch the flight of the ball to determine whether the ball has top, side, dead or backspin.
So if you are misreading the spin on the ball and missing your shots, then it is because you are actually doing the wrong thing for the ball that has come to you. If the pips player is able to keep the ball on the table and cause you to misread the spin and not get the ball on the table yourself, then they actually have more and better technique than you are realizing. Their technique is causing you to miss.
However I would also say that in some cases the effect of pips is disproportionate to the effort put in by the player and I believe that is why some attacking players (myself included) feel frustrated and angry when we have lost. At times there seems little reward for taking risks and trying to be positive in your approach and play
Trust me, this is a misperception. If you think that, you have not tried to switch back and forth from a smooth rubber to a pips rubber, and you do not understand the techniques you need to use to vary the spin with a pips rubber. I understand thinking this. But it is a misperception. As far as risks, if you are misreading the spin, you ARE taking risks because you are taking a swing without knowing what is actually on the ball.
A player who uses smooth rubbers and is good at playing against a pips player is not taking risks. He is using the right strokes and shot selection for the spins that are coming at him. That is why, as the spin varies, his shots still go on the table over and over again.
If you have trouble playing against pips players, and you have trouble finding pips players to train against, this is my recommendation. If you have a few friends who all play smooth and you train with them, get a defensive setup that has pips on one side and smooth on the other. It could be a very inexpensive setup and be a really useful one. You each take turns using the pips setup, trying to get used to it, and as you get better at using it, your training partners will get better at playing against it and vice versa. When you are all competent enough to help each other train against pips, you will start making some improvement against pips and start having fun playing against them. By learning to use them a little, you will start knowing what the guys you play against who have a pips setup are doing which will also help you improve at playing against them. You may also have an appreciation for how hard it actually is to twiddle and go from using pips to smooth. Think about if you were forced to play with a hardhat for 10 min. At first you would not be able to hit with it. Then you would start getting used to it. Then you would go back to your bat and you would not be able to get the ball on the table with your own racket for a few minutes. A pips player who twiddles has to be used to two very different setups at the same time.
It is really like serve and receive against a player who can disguise their serves well. At first you cannot tell the difference between his top, side, dead and backspin serves. Then you start seeing the contact and the bounce better. And then you stop being fooled as often. AND THAT PROCESS IS FUN. Going from not being able to do it to being decent at it, is fun. The same thing will happen if you figure out a way to practice against pips. The issue is not the rubber but your lack of experience against it. It is fair that this makes it frustrating. But, the answer would be to try and figure out a simple, cost effective way to gain more experience playing against pips.
As you practice against it, you will be able to see what is actually happening better and you will be fooled far less frequently. That process of reading things better and seeing things more accurately is really a valuable asset in the process of improving at the sport of table tennis.