We Need a World Table Tennis Association

[berndtjgmann]

Jimbob you missed an important one:

Drugs in Table Tennis.

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Sent from The Subterranean Workshop by Telepathy

As we all know, or have hope to suspect, drugs in table tennis among sentient beings (that is, players) are a thing of the recent past.

And as we all know, and there is an Everest of circumstantial evidence to confirm, drugs on table tennis players' equipment, particularly pros', have been ever present since at least the mid-1970s.

Sex, drugs, rock and roll. And don't forget pong.

 

[berndtjgmann]

Well, let us assume I deliberately did not mention it... Drugs work fine for me. Otherwise i couldn't stand the stupidity of some of my teammates...

Yeah Jimbob, when I could play, drugs worked fine for me too. Beer (Arrogant Double Bastard), booze (Everclear 195 proof grain alcohol) and caffeine (nothing but the wickedest Turkish triple espresso) were my favorites. Without 'em I couldn't have gone on to little fame and no fortune (but nice looking trophies) in kicking butt from 2001-2005 in two under-1500 hardbat U.S. Open Singles, one Nationals, and one North American championships. I was so stoked I had to have a buddy tell me where I was, were the nearest men's john was in case I hadda barf, where the table on which I was gonna play was, help me stand up until I could do that by myself, and after that it was pretty much up to my limbic system.

Hey Jimbob, you ain't related to Billybob Bodine, second best ping pong player after me at the ElDorado Bar and Grill in Columbus, Ohio, are yuh? You and him kinda look alike. Billybob is about 6'8", dresses out at about 425, and rides a 17,500 cc. Harley Hog made specially for him. He once mentioned that he had cousins the MacInBreds down in Butcher Holler West By God Virginia.

 

[Jimbob MacInbred]

Yeah Jimbob, when I could play, drugs worked fine for me too. Beer (Arrogant Double Bastard), booze (Everclear 195 proof grain alcohol) and caffeine (nothing but the wickedest Turkish triple espresso) were my favorites. Without 'em I couldn't have gone on to little fame and no fortune (but nice looking trophies) in kicking butt from 2001-2005 in two under-1500 hardbat U.S. Open Singles, one Nationals, and one North American championships. I was so stoked I had to have a buddy tell me were I was, were the nearest men's john was in case I hadda barf, where the table on which I was gonna play was, help me stand up until I could do that by myself, and after that it was pretty much up to my limbic system.

Hey Jimbob, you ain't related to Billybob Bodine, second best ping pong player after me at the ElDorado Bar and Grill in Columbus, Ohio, are yuh? You and him kinda look alike. Billybob is about 6'8", dresses out at about 425, and rides a 17,500 cc. Harley Hog made specially for him. He once mentioned that he had cousins the MacInBreds down in Butcher Holler West By God Virginia.

I'm only high on "L-Thyroxine", a drug prescribed if your thyroid gland is not working properly or not at all. If you "overdose " on that, it can have similar effects as caffeine, I suppose. When I first took L-Thyroxine back in 2006, the initial dose (recommended by the "medicine man") was apparently too high. Couldn't sleep for about 48 hours...

Anyway, I'm not familiar with a person named Billybob Bodine. Ridiculous name, by the way. I'm only 420 lbs at 5'7" and drive a BMW Isetta convertible with dampers specially made for me. And frankly I don't buy it if you say I somewhat resemble him. I'm unique and handsome (or so I was told by my parents). Theoretically speaking, if him and me would look alike, I'd arrange a double date with Liu Shiwen and Kasumi Ishikawa for us. I think that would work out...

 

[Baal]

Looks like this isn't my day to quit sniffing glue.

 

[berndtjgmann]

Looks like this isn't my day to quit sniffing glue.

Huh?? Thought every well informed dope fiend knows you don't sniff glue--you huff it.

bjgmann--former assistant to the assistant secretary, then to the executive director, Uhuru Drug Rehabilitation Center, Columbus, Ohio, 1975

 

[TTFrenzy]

The current international groupings are inadequate for what is going on in Table Tennis. The ITTF and the Chinese association have not moved past their nationalist and continent narrow limits. We need an association that puts everyone in the same bucket and runs the rankings on a skill-based, chess-style ranking. And brings together the world'd players.

Im still wandering why ITTF hasnt hired you yet. Great post we need more of this !